past the point

so

2010-04-24T09:20:00.000-05:00

"Jonah? Are you listening to me." Jonah could barely hear Noah over the phone. As it was, he was barely awake. He looked at the clock. Really, he didn't get up until 10. Showered and was at No Frills by noon for his shift.

"Yes." He looked over. Lex was already at school. He rubbed sleep from his eyes. "What is it?"

"Mom's got a guy here." Jonah said it so dreadful.

"A guy?" Noah winced. "So?" His mother had a life. Still he kind of thought of her right up there with Mother Mary. The reinvented virgin after rearing two fine young men, who of course would never be priests. But still, it was possible for her to have a love life.

"Look, he's, um, I dunno." Jonah was keeping his voice low. "Can you come over for breakfast? Now."

"Now?" Noah squinted hard. "All right." He clicked off his cell. Reached in the floor for some jeans. He squeezed into them. It was after buttoning them that he figured out these were Lex's not his. He could hardly walk in these. He climbed out of them quckly and found his old loose jean. He smiled then. Much better.

stranger in the house

2010-04-11T16:35:00.000-05:00

It was barely light out, but Noah had to pee. He tip-toed down the hallway to the bathroom. Except, someone had beat him to it. There was someone peeing in the commode. He saw their bare ass in the early morning light.

There was a naked man in the house.

Noah thought he might fart or have a heartattack. He wasn't sure which. But he could only see him from behind. Noah was just in his boxers and tank as he stood there, he wondered what to say or do. Maybe nothing. Maybe it was an apparition of some kind. He shivered slightly and remembered that he needed to pee. He crept down the stairs as fast as he could. There was a bathroom downstairs. He had to think what to do. Go to the bathroom first.

That was a relief. He'd call Jonah, but he'd be asleep. Maybe call 911, but what if he was Mom's boyfriend-

"Oh, hello." The dude was still naked, but he was in the kitchen making coffee now. The kitchen light was on, and Noah couldn't help but just stare at that butt of his. Obviously, this dude thought he had a great bod. Actually, he was very fit. Sexy, Noah, guessed.

"Hey." Noah could bare croak with a light wave.

"You hungry?" His piercing eyes looked him over.

"Uh, kind of." Noah guessed.

"Jonah? Right?"

Noah shook his head.

"Right, yeah. Noah, I was suppose to know that." He grinned then. "Its like your Mom had you six months apart? Isn't it?" The guy just winced but he didn't flinch. He pushed the on button for the coffee to brew.

"Something like that." Noah shrugged.

"Jonah came first and then you." He sounded impressed about the matter as if he might be his other brother that Noah hadn't an inkling about. "But you're not twins. You're mom has a double uterus."

"You seem to know a lot about us." Noah didn't know if he should laugh or go running up the stairs to yell for Mom. There was a stranger in the house.

"She told me." He grinned then pouring Noah a cup of coffee.

Noah set down with him then. The guy was still naked, and hadn't told him his name yet.

burn marks

2010-02-28T01:35:00.031-06:00

"Are you gonna tell them?" Rick's eyes stayed on Mona long after they'd quietly made love in her warm bed. He had no intentions of leaving tonight. As it was, he was always there before the boys came back. And they were just boys, as far as he was concerned.

When he carassed her belly now, he felt as if she was a piece of him now. They were good together. She was sweet and sincere. She made him a better person, Rick thought. He needed to be here. For himself and well, to get the job done. Wasn't that it? Something like that?

He'd let this thing linger with Mona. Actually. It wasn't easy separating a job from..from really wanting this. Now.

Things get really old by the time your 27 in this shitty life, he imagined. And you know what remains constant with you. Finding the love of your life. And thats what he'd done. Just how in the hell was he not to become what his predessors were, old rock'n rollers who just carried a gun instead of a guitar.

"Don't make me go." He looked at her so honestly.

"It'll be hard for them, you know." Mona squinted, but he kissed parts of her that only elated her. He knew when to make her say what he wanted. And when he pulsed inside her, he could tell by her gracious sigh, she wanted this too. He was gonna get his way. He'd stayed away long enough. And he knew she'd burn for him. She already did.

"Its like cracking eggs," He whispered in her ear. "It doesn't seem possible, but once you get through the skin, nothing to it." Rick knew when he was right. It was already happening. Already, a done deal. He wasn't going anywhere in that cozy bed.

a well lit flame

2010-02-24T01:15:00.025-06:00

It was an adjustment to Noah and Jonah's Mom to have them all back. It had been a long time. Of course, she'd worried most of it, even before now that something bad had happened to Jonah. She tried her best to keep him out of her mind. But then when Noah ran away, it was just different. She never expected anything like that.

He was her good one. And here he was home now with a pregnant girlfriend. She almost fainted when she found out, but somehow, she had Rick there to help her all through this. To at least one person she knew, she was not Mom nor nurse to him. He called her by her name long forgotten, Mona.

It had been so startling to her. That evening he'd helped her with her car in the grocery parking lot. It wasn't until then that she felt so alone. No son to call to help her out of this predicament. And here was this fine young man able to help her.

Well, he was a very good substitute. She had to repay him somehow. It wasn't that she thought of him as someone she had to have. It was an innocent enough engagement, afterwards. She invited him to a homemade meal. After all, he'd started her car.

Now if she'd told anyone this that she worked with, they would have immediately told her not too. But it had already happened. Just minute steaks, mashed potatoes, green beans on the side. Funny, how she remembered their first meal together. How happy she was to watch him eat.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Rick had downed everything in a split second until he noticed her plate hadn't been touched.

"Oh, I guess I'm not that hungry." Mona had sighed, thinking he must have seen this middle aged woman who was a sad sort. He'd asked about her boys. What had happened. She didn't know. They might have been dead for all she knew. The police didn't seem to care, anymore. It made her a bit weepy to think of such a vast emptiness. "I'm just glad you're here." Mona finally breathed.

Naturally, Rick had cleaned up, afterwards. He said it was the least he could do. It was there in the kitchen while she was drying the last of the dishes that she saw how he was looking at her. His lean arms, leaning on the kitchen counter.

"I guess we need to stop thanking each other, don't we?" She smiled as if this was the end. She didn't really know him. He didn't really know her. But it had been nice. A little dinner. Some talk. It was time for her to be alone, again. "I don't want to keep you from anything."

"But you're not." He promised as his dark eyes stared at her.

"Come on, you must have somewhere to go." Her smile was open. Perhaps he took advantage of it. Because the next thing she knew...he was kissing her, like a rocket on fire.

Maybe it was the fact she hadn't been kissed in a very long time. Or was it just him? He was so intoxicating. Words couldn't be spoken. It was as if he needed her as much as she suddenly needed him.

Honestly, she never did foolish things like this, until she met Rick.

nothing like a good dinner to finish and start things with

2010-02-18T10:09:00.001-06:00

Lex thought she could make a difference if she was there when Jonah met his Mom. As if was, Noah and Josie had out done themselves to make a little dinner party.

They had the works. Noah had purchased a turkey, baked it. Made all the trimmings. It was like a long lost Thanksgiving dinner.

"And I made the rolls." Josie said it was a secret recipe she knew from where she worked at the diner, months ago. Naturally, she was glowing, practically. Just so happy to have that baby bump of hers.

Lex didn't want to admit it, but she envied them bother. Jonah was no chef, and her mother wasn't all that kind to him. It wasn't exactly a honeymoon at her place. Alright, she had Jonah to herself, plenty. And of course, you needed time to get to know someone. But there just was never enough time.

But here they were now. And Lex wished she'd brought a present of some kind. At least it didn't give a moment for their mother to be angry with Jonah. She was happy to have them all there. And they were happy to see her too.

At least, Jonah didn't have to explain himself much. It was all so sweet. Like a Christmas card without the tree. Or a Valentines day without all the sickening hearts and flowers and crap. Really, it was a lovely time. Lex took photos with her digital camera of Noah and Jonah with their Mom and of this pair and that pair and Josie even took a couple of Lex and Jonah.

"What are you gonna do with all these pictures?" Josie wanted to know.

"A scrapbook." It was the least she could do.

"Lex, when have you ever scrapbooked?" Noah looked at her funny.

"Never." She gave him a light smile. "Not until now." She pressed a smile more then. "We're a family, you know, and, and we should do what families do. Scrapbook." She nodded.

"Oh, I can't wait! Can I help?" Josie looked to Lex. "You always felt like a sister to me. I never had one before, you know."

"Yeah, like sisters." Lex sighed as she looked to Noah and Jonah. They were really good brothers to each other. Now weren't they?"

another brick in the wall

2010-01-15T08:26:00.001-06:00

Rick remembered the first time. It was sort of like a faded dream now. He was still a kid then, and thought he might have been as cool as Keanu Reeves. Well, he liked to believe that. Back when his thick locks were always in his face, as well as he was trying to grow something on his face. Yeah, he liked to think he was cool then.

It was always that cool. Not really. He recalled, still thinking the first time hadn't came off quite as easy as they said it would. Granted, they'd enticed the daughter right away. Cause, she was easy. Plain and simple. Perhaps she had it in for her parents, all along. Honestly, Rick didn't know the full story. But they had her in the motel room and well, she had a thing for Sonny, or maybe it was just the drugs he was giving her. Honestly, it had to be. The more he thought about it now.

And then there was her mother. That was the hard part. Getting her there under false pretenses, as they'd say. She'd brought groceries. Fucking groceries. Yeah, what a goddamn laugh that was. Sonny ripping the bags from her, canned food hitting the floor. Hell, all Rick really wanted was the free cable at the room. They'd said he wouldn't have to have a thing to do with it.

Of course, all they'd wanted were the guns.

"Where are the god-damn guns!"

Rick squinted now as he was trying to take a shit. Why in the hell, did this come to him every morning when he went to take a shit. He just remembered those words, over and over. WHERE ARE THE FUCK'N GUNS!

Sonny had hit the woman in the head with a can of Ranch Style beans. She had a gash in her forehead, and he saw the daughter felt nothing. Nothing for the pain Sonny had given her mother. The mother kept saying she didn't know anything about the damn guns.

As far as Sonny was concerned, how in the hell were they ever going to get this operation off the ground if they didn't have the guns. But it just left the woman in her mid-life with a crisis. Her forehead bled. Damn, she was just so fragile, and Sonny kept pressing the issue he'd kill the daughter if she didn't find the guns. There were guns at her house. She was suppose to bring them, but she'd only brought beans.

That's when they let her get away. It was dark at the motel. Rick still beat her to her car and was waiting in the back seat for her. He'd had to clear his throat to let her know he was there.

"Just don't do anything stupid. All right. We just need the guns." Rick told her, all cool like. Damn, if she didn't almost get them killed on the drive home. There was a fog that turned things to ice. It was really a freaky time of year.

Shit.

The house was a pile of holy crap. That husband of hers was a real hoarding whore. A shitty pack-rat. No wonder she hadn't found the guns.

Rick remembered the taste of the stale potato chips he'd taken to because he was hungry. Did they ever clean up? Who'd let their house get this fucked up?

"Promise me, you won't hurt her!" The woman demanded, still bleeding, who he knew right then she'd do anything for her daughter. She was the type of woman who'd give childbirth to her own grandchild just not to see her own daughter go through labor.

"I ain't gonna do shit to her." And he wasn't. He wasn't going near anything Sonny possessed. "The guns. I need the guns." Plain and simple.

They had to go to the basement for them. The old man had them in a closet. A special closet. Thank god it wasn't locked. It was easy pick'n. Except. No fuck'n ammo.

"What the fuck!" Rick was getting jumpy. Naturally, the woman didn't know. She knew shit about guns.

Rick put the pistols in a pillow case. That would have to do. They'd have to find their own ammo. He guessed. He didn't want to waste time. Just get in. Get out. Oh, yeah, the woman. He had to do something about her.

That was the first time he ever tied anyone up in duct tape. Pink duct tape.

He wondered if they ever found her. He guess he might have cut the circulation off her wrists. She was so fragile. Honest to god she was a fragile thing.

Just as he knew Jonah's mother was just as fragile, like a flower that's petals were about to peel away and expose the woman she really was. Irresistible.

Damn, she was hot to be so fuck'n old. Old enough to be his mother. Well, she'd probably had to have been 14 when she'd had him. As he thought about it now. Not that he dwelled on that sort of thing in this sort of business. Not a lot of time for fuck'n, as it was. Really, he'd missed out on a lot fuck'n because he was either on watch or guarding something. Actually, he didn't even watch porn. He watched a lot of crime shows, and then he got hooked on Degrassi. Yeah, he wasn't so bad. Honestly, he could relate to people. He'd related to Jonah's Mom.

Naturally, it was so unexpected when he botched something under the hood of her old car and then he fixed it right there in the parking lot where she'd bought groceries. He could play nice. No one really knew just how nice Rick could be.

how could he

2010-01-10T10:56:00.001-06:00

When Jonah heard Noah speak of how troubled his Mom was about him, he almost lost it.

How could he forget about her? He felt bad, but he dreaded seeing her just the same. He didn't know what to say.

"You're not a jerk." Lex told him after he got off the phone with his brother.

"I'm worse than a jerk, I'm an asshole, plain and simple." He said quite sadly. There was a time when he and his mother were really close. They were so distant now. He didn't think he could possibly apologize enough for all he'd done.

"Stop saying that." Lex winced. They were in their room. She grabbed both of his hands. He smiled then as if she'd brought him back to reality. His feet hurt so from standing so much at the grocery store. He sat back on the wobbly bed and pulled her into his lap. This was where he wanted to be. Not thinking about what a horrible son he was. He kissed her then as if she'd make him forget.

"We are going over to you Mom's." She pulled away.

"Do we have to? Right this moment?" Jonah squinted.

"Yes, I haven't seen Josie in forever. Your brother, too." She stared at him as if she could move him to do anything with those sad eyes of hers.

"God, I hate, having her so angry." He winced.

"She'll be happy to see you. She will." Lex got to moving. She didn't stay in his lap long. She went to find him a nice shirt to wear.

"Isn't this a girl's shirt?" He examined the label.

"Well, you're wearing my pants, anyway, whats the difference?" She glared back at him as she put on some lip gloss.

She did have a point. He pulled off his dingy T and buttoned up the black shirt.

"Good enough?" He asked.

"Well, for me." She smiled. Really, that was all that mattered, didn't it?

how could this be

2009-12-31T14:22:00.000-06:00

Noah expected his mom to be more mad at him than she was at Jonah.

"You know, what you expect of him." Noah reminded her. "Its me you should be furious with." He watched her make breakfast. She flipped the fried egg with ease. He missed her cooking.

"No, actually, just be mad at me. It is all my fault. Everything." Josie wanted to take the blame.

"Really, we were only trying to do the right thing." Noah felt helpless. He didn't even know what to do in his own kitchen. At the moment he looked far to young to be a father of anyone. No make-up. No hair dye. His emo days were in the trash, so to speak. He might of looked all of 12.

"Its that brother of yours." She gave Noah a sharp look. "I can't wait to get my hands on him. He is as reckless as he ever was.' She snapped.

"Mom," Noah squinted, trying to bed. "He's not that bad. Really, he's not."

"He's such a foolish bastard." She was in a huff.

Noah couldn't believe she said that. His Mom said bastard. What other bad words did she know? In the next breath she said the word fuck when she burned herself.

Noah's eyes lit. He couldn't believe it. His mom said the F word. What had they done to her? What was going on with her?

Josie went to the bathroom to get something for the burn.

"Mom, is something else going on?" Noah wanted to know.

"No, I've been trying to find you two for months. I have no idea what's going on. I go to the cops about you two. I do everything but hire my own detective, which I almost did. I almost hired one." She was practically in tears.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'm so sorry." Noah thought he might cry to, but she served him breakfast instead.

"I wonder if I'll ever see your brother again." She was in tears this time. He could see. And Noah felt awful that Jonah had done this to her. If only his brother knew what he'd done. Noah was getting on his cell now and making Jonah come over.

you got me jerking back and forth

2009-12-24T11:38:00.000-06:00

The truth is I live like this is all because of you...
Devo

The snow was really blowing now, and Jonah had never felt safer. He wished it could stay this way forever in Lex's cozy room.

For one thing, the sex was really good. It didn't feel like anything in a porn magazine. No, this was warm, natural and happened out of no where. He guessed, as he smiled now thinking he didn't know it could be quite that amazing.

He didn't want to say anything, but he'd been just as scared as Lex. And being here at her place scared him all the more. He couldn't have sex with Lex while her mother was upstairs. But then he began to think there would always be an obstacle, wouldn't there? Always something out to get him, he guessed. But he had had time to think. No one he used to work for had been out to break him, as of yet. Maybe they were all gone now. He doubted it.

And then he'd kissed her on the forehead one morning when she was thinking about what to wear to school. Her smile hit him just right and he knew what he wanted and it had happened as if hot liquid had poured over them and made them one.. they couldn't get enough of each other. It was amazing. She'd missed school that day. Stayed in bed with him, instead.

Only 4 hours later, he'd gotten a call from the grocery store. "Could you start tomorrow?" It was as if everything was working out. Jonah couldn't get over it. It was all the Christmas he needed. Things were getting better. What could go wrong now?

His cell rang just then as he was thinking about getting out of bed. It was his brother.

"Hey, sorry, I've been so busy, you know." Jonah grinned as he laid there in bed watching Lex sleep.

"Its OK. Just wanted to let you know, we're back," Noah said. "We're at Mom's."

"You're at mom's?" Jonah rose up on his elbows. "What happened?"

"You'll be mad at me." Noah told him.

"No, I won't." Jonah blinked, that's when Noah told him about Josie and the baby.

"One more thing," Noah said. "Did you know about Josie's Dad."

"What?" Jonah waited to hear how Josie's dad was dead. He winced then. He felt his body slightly shake wondering what was in store for him.

scars

2009-12-13T10:40:00.001-06:00

Did I say something stupid?
There goes one more mistake
Do I bore you with my problems?
Is that why you turn away?
Do you know how hard I tried
To become what you want me to be?

Take me
This is all that I've got
This is all that I'm not
All that I'll ever be
I've got flaws, I've got faults
Keep searching for your perfect heart
It doesn't matter who you are
We all have our scars
We all have our scars

You say don't act like a child
But what if it's a father I need?
It's not like you don't know what you got yourself into
Don't tell me I'm the one whos nieve
Do you know how hard I've tried
To become who you want me to be?

Take me
This is all that I've got
This is all that I'm not
All that I'll ever be
I've got flaws, I've got faults
Keep searching for your perfect heart
It doesn't matter who you are
We all have our scars
We all have our scars

Come on, just let it go
These are things you can't control
Your expectations, your explainations
Don't make sense to me
You and your alternatives
Don't send me to your therapists
Deep down, I know what you mean
And I'm not sure that's what I wanna be
No

Take me
This is all that I've got
This is all that I'm not
All that I'll ever be
I've got flaws, I've got faults
Keep searching for your perfect heart
It doesn't matter who you are
We all have our scars
We all have our scars
Oh no no no

Did I say something stupid
There goes one more mistake...
-allison iraheta

Josie wasn't sure how Noah's Mom would react when she saw her. She was a little afraid actually. Kind of sad to leave this place.

Not that Noah had explained it to the ladies at the beauty shop. They wanted him to stay. They were worried about Christmas. Didn't they want a party and presents? But Noah had told them no. And Josie felt she'd let them down. Still they were really happy about the baby news. Of course, still they were impressed with Noah, telling her he'd be the best father ever.

Then she thought of her own. Who had to be the worst father in the world. She didn't want to see him. She wanted nothing to do with him. She just wanted to go home with Noah.

"Do you think she'll hate me?" Josie was all sad.

"She's not going to hate you, my Mom's a nurse." Noah reminded her. "She'll want to help you. And besides, you're going to have her first grandchild."

"What if she doesn't want to be a grandmother yet?" Josie winced, making sure she had everything packed to go.

"To bad." Noah's eyes lit and then he smiled. She did too. Still she wanted to be in his arms as long as she could.

It felt too soon when his Mom arrived. Instantly, Josie started to cry. She didn't want to leave this life behind. It might have been new, but it was a good one. She loved everyone she'd met up here.

"You're going to make me go to my Dad's aren't you?" She said first then when she saw Cynthia, Noah's Mom.

"I'm afraid I've got some very sad news for you, Josie." Cynthia sat her down.

"What? How could bad could it be?" She squinted tears.

"Your father hung himself in jail." She told her.

"What?" Josie could hardly get a breath out. She shook her head. It couldn't be.

Cynthia just nodded. She hugged Josie who couldn't decide how she really felt about her Dad, after all.

big time

2009-12-09T15:33:00.001-06:00

Noah had contemplated it from time to time. Actually, he'd dreamed it more than once. The reaction on her face. His face. When he actually saw the realization of it. He should have been prepared. Or at least he thought, he'd be used to the idea.

But that was just a dream. A dream to let him smile. Feel a small heart attack coming over him, pumped with happiness.

Well....

"Well??" He looked at Josie who opened the bathroom door. The look on her face, full of excitement and glee. She squealed so as she handed over the stick she'd peed on.

Noah, thought he laughed but he wasn't sure. He took a look. Yes, it was blue. He almost felt himself falter. Could he possibly be a part of this or was this where she said in her dream something surreal like, "Oh, I sent away for a Taylor Lautner sperm kit. I forgot to tell you."

He sucked in a breath. Instead, she gave him a hug. A kiss on the cheek.

"LOOK! What we did!" As if they'd worked on a science experiment all night long. He had to sat down. He just nodded. Jonah was going to kill him.

"We have no idea, how long?" He looked at her.

"I'm sorry. I don't." She kind of frowned, but it didn't last long. She sat on his lap and kissed him as if they needed to celebrate, somehow.

Noah thought he was nodding, but he might have been shaking. He reached for his cell. It was time to call home. He had too. He just did.

"Mom." He sounded like he might be in a well somewhere for away.

"ARE YOU ALL RIGHT!" His mother was screaming. "Do you know how long I've been waiting, hoping you'd call! God, what's going on!"

"Its kind of a long story." Noah started. "I don't guess my brother is there."

"What do you know about your brother? Have you seen Jonah? Have you? Noah? The cops are looking for him," she said.

"No, no, uh, I haven't see him," Noah said. "Could maybe, you come and pick me and Josie up. We're in Minnesota."

"Minnesota! How did you get there?"

"I'm sorry, Mom, I really am. But, don't be mad, please. Cause, I think I need you now more than ever. Me and Josie." He knew he had to tell her everything now. If he ever wanted for things to get near normal again, he had to tell her, everything.

in a bad way

2009-12-05T09:05:00.000-06:00

Jonah thought he might lose it. Come home, well sort of, and first week he came down with a fever.

"You just don't want to see your Mom." Lex informed him as she took his temp. They were in her room. Underground, he guessed in Lex's lair.

"Don't say that." He felt like poison was seeping in all around him. This wasn't good. "I'm never sick." He was none to happy about it. He knew her mother wanted him to have a job already which wasn't quite happening yet, and who would hire him, anyway. Perhaps if he went back to his old ways, all would be well.

"You are never going to be that, again!" Lex laid the law down. It was her way or no way. "You are going into that police station and tell them everything about Josie's Dad, before its too late!"

"Can you just shut up, about that," Jonah whispered. He didn't want her mother to know.

She handed over something for the fever.

"If you were half the brother your brother was, this would already be over." Lex gritted.

"Well, thanks a lot." He squinted laying there in her bed in the basement. Just once he wanted to follow the rules instead of breaking them, but this wasn't easy. Especially, when he started to shake with a fever.

its a holiday

2009-11-28T09:30:00.000-06:00

They were moved in. The apartment was there's now. And it had been so delightful.

"Do you miss the holidays?" Noah asked wondering what he could do to make this all better. Somehow.

"Well, no. Not really." Josie assured him. After all, they'd had roasted chicken, stuffing, yams, potatoes and a spinach salad. How much more Thanksgiving should you get. "I think this is the best Thanksgiving I've had in a very long time." She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Seriously?"

"I had my Dad to contend with.' Josie informed him. "He was drunk. Always. As long as I can remember. It was scary. Stressful. We'd be angry with each other. Well, you know."

"I don't really know." Noah told her as they were cleaning up after their feast. "You never really told me. You were always the tough sort to figure out."

"It doesn't matter, all right." She gave him a kiss on the cheek while she started to scrub at a pan. He just smiled.

"Do you think this is forever for us?" He grinned.

"Yes, I do." She sounded so certain. "You have your job downstairs. I spend the lunch hours busy. And who knows, maybe I'll be baking pies soon." She uncovered the Chocolate French silk pie she'd gotten from work. Niether of them liked pumpkin.

this is how it is

2009-11-21T11:26:00.000-06:00

Lex had a plan.

1. she'd give Jonah shelter.
2. hide him in the basement.
3. perhaps a boy toy to play with.
4. she'd feed him what ever her mother gave her to eat.
5. just a little sacrifice to keep the company she so desired.

All right, it didn't work. There went that fantasy.

She was in trouble. Her mother was livid, but that was the norm. After all the screaming, she gave Lex hug. Glad that she was back. And there was Jonah all the while, wanting to hide but he couldn't.

"Mom, he's my boyfriend, and, and he has no where to go." She couldn't possibly let him go. After all, he did keep her warm at night. And yes, things were gravitating. He was the one.

She was certain her mother would start up again, but she didn't.

"All right." Her mother looked her in the eye. "As long as I have you back, that's what matters most."

But there would be rules.

1. she'd have to get on the pill if she continued to sleep with him.
2. she'd have to find a job.
3. he'd have to find a job.
4. they'd both have to do chores.

"No more spending the night on the Internet, for you." It felt like an ultimatum when her mother said that. She'd have to grow up. Was Lex really ready for that?

if we could own the night

2009-11-15T01:46:00.022-06:00

"We could drive all night if we have too." Jonah was bound and determined to deliver Lex back home and be done with it. He was behind the wheel. They'd shut up the cabin. Leaving it cleaner than what it was. He didn't know why they'd gone to so much trouble, but then again, Lex liked to nag that way.

"Just don't get a ticket," Lex reminded him as she buckled up after they'd said their good byes to Noah and Josie. "That's the last thing we need."

"Right." Jonah looked over to Lex, thinking he should have just left, on his own. Why hadn't he? He was somber as he drove back. What was there left to say? It was over, wasn't it? Kind of. There was Josie and Noah to worry about. But somehow, he thought they'd be fine. Everyone thought they had graduated high school. It was as if they had their own path to follow. It was as Josie's dad had never existed now. Yet, it was in the back of his mind that if he showed up back in town, he would be goner, wouldn't he?

He'd have to keep going. He just wish he had some transportation.

"I don't know what you have in mind," Lex said a few hours later. Enough of the silent treatment.

"What does it matter to you?" He winced.

"I don't want anything horrible to happen to you?" She told him.

"You don't have to worry about that." He sighed.

"But I do. I will. You have to stay with me, as long as it takes, all right. Until we get this figured out, you have to go to the cops Jonah. You have to tell them what you know about her Dad." Lex told him.

Why was she the sound of reasoning? He seriously, didn't want to think about that.

not exactly the lottery

2009-11-12T01:04:00.015-06:00

Josie was estatic with the apartment. Granted it wasn't perfect. The walls were dark and rustic and the stove gas and the fridge hummed occasionally.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" She knew Lex got tired of hearing her say it over and over.

"You're pathetic." But Lex gave her a hug. She was glad they had a place.

"But we have Internet." Lex had to be happy about that.

"I'm going to be in touch with you two everyday." She looked at both of them as if this was her farewell.

"Just take good care of Jonah." Josie grinned.

"Well, that's kind of doubtful since we aren't talking to each other at the moment." She sighed.

"Really? Are you sure its just you not talking to him?" Josie questioned.

"He's just being a pain." The more Lex talked about him the more she sounded as if she were talking about herself.

"Uh-huh." Josie finally smiled.

"I want to be happy like you are." Lex finally said.

"Well, maybe you are, you just don't know it, yet." Josie gave Lex a hug.

summing it up

2009-11-07T00:53:00.020-06:00

Noah listened to everything his brother said about Lex's idea.

"No way am I going!" He was smoking a cigarette and stompping about in the cool autumn air out back.

Noah stared out into the beautiful trees. So many colors. So beautiful and majestic. It was so peaceful here. Except for the bickering between Lex and Jonah.

"You should listen to her." He nodded. "She make sense, Jo."

"What!" He winced what seemed indefinitely.

"We'll be fine." Noah hugged himself. "I, well..we've been offered a little apartment over the beauty shop. She offered it to me as soon as I took the job. Its dirt cheap, but its do-able."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Jonah looked completely a wreck now.

"I dunno," Noah grinned. "I just thought you wanted to be in charge."

Jonah sighed heavily.

"God, I don't know what to do." Jonah took a long draw off his cigarette.

"Its you who can't stop running. You have to. You do." Noah was certain."Who knows, maybe we'll all be home by Christmas."

"Thanks, bro, you're really giving me so to think about. Its just, no car, what if you need a car?" Noah looked at him.

"I can't think of a reason why we would need a car." Noah smiled. Everything he needed was right there in town. And there was Josie. She was like his beacon. He'd go where ever she lead him.

so serious

2009-11-04T01:43:00.020-06:00

"I can't just leave them!" Jonah winced. "I..I can't, it wouldn't be right, you know, I got them into this...and..."

"They both have jobs. They love it here. They do. And if they found them a place in the town, it would work. They wouldn't need a car. Now would they?" She glared at him as if she had a point, and he should take her seriously.

Jonah shook his head. "This is just wrong. I can't go back there. I can't."

"You'd have stop dealing." She told him.

"That's not as easy as it sounds, Lex." His throat tightened. He might as well be a dead man walking, hadn't he?

"Stop being Mr. Bad guy. You tell the cops, everything. And it'll be over!" Lex threw her hands in the air. "Capiche!"

Jonah shook his head. He didn't see it quite that easy. "When have the cops ever listened to me?"

"Because, you won't try. That's why." She was in a huff.

"I dunno." And he didn't. There were so many things he wanted to do while he could. Travel. Figure out what he wanted to do with his life.

"Just come back with me. All right." She stared at him so seriously. "I'll help you, Jonah, I will. I will be there for you."

Jonah kept shaking his head. He hated the thought of going back.

what I really really want

2009-10-30T04:56:00.030-05:00

Lex felt torn. She didn't know how to tell Jonah this, but she had to go home. She had too.

"I'm thinking, what good is it that I'm here." She winced, wishing she could tell him that she loved him. Well, a part of her might have, but she just wasn't that good at it. Now was she?

"We need the car." Jonah let it slip.

They were at the miserable little cabin. She was sure of it now. If she'd been a pioneer, she'd been the first to go. She wasn't a survivor. Evidently. Perhaps she was just too cold hearted for that.

"Naturally, you would." She was snide. He could have done his best to treat her with the best of everything, and she was sure of it now, she could still find her self wanting to kick him to the curb. "Look, I'm- I'm wasting your time." She'd decided.

"No, we're just wasting your time." He gave her a dead stare.

"Not, completely. I just think I'll add to the mystery of all this. My mother is catching on. She knows I'm not really in Kansas. I told her I went to Texas to visit a friend and well, she wants to call the cops. She wants to say I'm a runaway. I'm actually not. I e-mail her every chance I get. Feeding her some shit, that I'm in love and well, she wants me back, Jonah!"

"Are we in love? Is that true?" He wanted to know.

She winced more.

"You have to let me go." She'd feel much better in the safety of her own basement. Her fortress. She could lock herself up, again. All would be well in a matter of hours.

"Fine." Jonah pressed his lips together. She knew she wanted to say something more, but he didn't. He went to get her things. It was as if she could go this second. He went into the bedroom.

"Wait!" She ran after him. "I don't mean right now. Soon."

"Why not now?" He turned back to her. "Sooner the better, isn't that it? What do you care if we don't have a way around? You care about yourself and nothing else." Jonah went to pull her things out of the dresser and stuffed them in a trash bag.

"We really have to plan this out, you know."

"What are you talking about?" Jonah looked at her.

"I want you to come back with me." She hugged herself then.

all sleep safely

2009-10-22T08:55:00.000-05:00

It had been a few weeks, and Josie had fallen in love with the diner. She absolutely loved working there. Of course, it might all have to do with Will. Josie had to admit it now, everything she ever learn about being a waitress...she learned it from Will.

He was the best. Possibly, old enough to be her father. Actually, he was quite handsome behind those heavy black rimmed glasses. She wondered from time to time if he had a secret life. Of course, she had to keep her own a secret. But things had worked out so well. No one was looking for her. No one seemed to care that she might have been a little too young for the job, or that she should have been at school.

"Business, has been booming since you got here." Will told her.

Josie could barely hold in a laugh. She looked around. The place was hardly filled with customers, but there were enough. She thought of Noah then. It was definitely booming where he worked. He had a steady stream of customers now. Everybody wanted him to cut their hair, style it, dye it. It was unbelievable. Perhaps this was what made Josie happy the most. That his hidden talent had been found. And people needed him.

Yes, she was in love with this place even if it was getting colder and colder by the day. She had Noah to keep her warm at night. She really thought she could endure every change as the leaves reddened and fell from one big rain to the next. It was as if it was getting her ready for perhaps the worst of it. She hoped.

out of the coldness

2009-10-05T21:32:00.003-05:00

Jonah found Lex in their room. She was cuddling her pillow, laying in bed just in her sweats. He knew she'd been crying.

"Its not that bad, here, is it?" He winced.

She didn't say anything. Naturally.

He touched her shoulder, ever so carefully as he laid next to her.

"I wish you wouldn't be mad at me," he then whispered in her ear. "I don't want it this way. You got to know that."

Jonah hugged her from behind then.

He could hear the wind kicking up. It would be colder tonight. It was starting to rain. He didn't want to be wrong, but maybe he was. Maybe he was wrong about everything.

"What do you want us to do?" He asked so quietly. "Go home. Is that what you want? Just go home. Forget everything."

"No." She said so sadly. And when she turned to him, he kissed her. And he meant it too. He wanted to learn everything about her. He wanted to make her happy.

it might be that.

2009-09-27T03:24:00.002-05:00

"Maybe she's just homesick." Noah watched Josie slice up tomatoes. "You know, it could be. She's never been away from home, you know."

Josie looked up at him. "I swear you sound like you might know her more than I wish you did."

Noah remained even lipped wondering if Josie was jealous.

She smiled and let go of the tomato and she put her arms around him and they kissed as if it was time for some happiness that neither could quite control yet.

"If I could inject some of our, um, well, I don't want to give it a name, I might jinx it, but you know what I mean, if it were drug, both Jonah and Lex need it badly." She whispered in Noah's ear.

"Well, we'll have to wait it out, and see." Noah pressed his forehead against hers.

"You didn't let Jonah talk you out of that job, did you?" Josie asked.

"No, I'm taking it." He promised. A part of him could hardly wait. It was just a whim. He was still in shock about.

"When do you have to be there?"

"8 a.m sharp."

She kissed him again. And knew what that would mean tonight. Noah couldn't help but hold in a laugh.

"Maybe I better help you," Noah then remembered supper. It would be simple. Omelettes.

"Maybe you better not," Josie informed him. "You distract me."

"Promise, I won't." Noah really didn't want to have spend anymore time with Jonah that he had too.

one rip after another

2009-09-25T15:01:00.002-05:00

"Do you even like him?" Really, Lex wasn't listening. She was just mad. At everything. Everyone. Why was it like this? She wanted to scream, and she knew it would do no good. Nothing would do. Not even if Noah won the lottery. It wouldn't do.

"Yes." She finally got back to Josie's question. They were back home. She supposed. It was another night in the holler or whatever. And yes, she would sleep with Jonah. But it would be just sleep. Sleep. Unlike Josie and Noah who seemed to have not only their nights settled, but maybe their mornings too. She could just hear it now.

"Well, you have to show Jonah, you mean business." Josie glared at her.

"I'm not a hooker and ..and shouldn't you be worried about that job you applied for?" Lex winced.

"I don't care if I get it or not." Josie smiled. "I don't care."

"That's it, you don't care and everything just falls in your lap, you know that." Lex said bitterly.

"Not everything." Josie looked so sad. Lex couldn't forget that Josie had the worst Dad in the world and well, she was from a very broken home. Lex still had a Mom and Dad who talked to each other even if they were divorce. Just where had they gone wrong with her, Lex thought about her own home-life. She would have been fading into the wood work there too. She supposed.

"Its just, you know, I'm used to certain things. I'm used to being.....alone." Not that she enjoyed her own company that much. Maybe she did. Maybe she really did.

"You're just afraid." Josie told her.

"I'm not afraid." Lex squinted hard.

"Yes, you are so afraid of Jonah that..that you don't even see him." Josie informed her.

Lex shook her head. Josie went to start supper and Lex found herself melting into tears as she sat down on the bed.

a bitter battle

2009-09-19T19:12:00.003-05:00

"What are you talking about?" Jonah didn't like this. Noah, having a job.

"You heard me, I'm working at Vanessa's Salon." Noah didn't back down. He was taking the damn job.

"What?" Noah thought he might go deaf. This couldn't be happening. "We are hiding out, or have you forgotten?" He poked his index finger straight into Noah's chest.

"I've been thinking about that. It's not gonna work. We aren't in a fairytale, you know. We have to find jobs sooner or later, Jonah." Noah told him. Jonah just seethed.

Noah sucked in a breath as they went back to the booth at the Burger Bar. The girls were on the laptop catching up on blogs and such.

"You know, school starts in 3 weeks." Lex looked up at Jonah.

"Great." He chewed the inside of his cheek. That's all he needed to hear.

"Well, I don't even miss it." Josie informed them. "Remember, I am the one in hiding, you know." She scooted out of the booth then.

"Where is she going?" Jonah asked Noah.

"Bathroom, I guess." Noah shrugged.

Next thing he knew Josie was bringing back applications for her and Lex to fill out.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jonah winced when he saw her applying for a waitress job.

"Don't worry, I'm using all my face ID stuff." She smiled.

"You need to be quiet." He looked at both of them. "Just stop. Will you?" Jonah whispered.

He couldn't help but want to explode. He went to smoke a cigarette outside. Next thing he knew, Lex took his cigarette to take a drag off of it.

"Look, they are just trying to blend." She looked at him. "You're really sticking out like a sore thumb."

"And you're not?" He looked into her angry eyes.

"How many days has it been since the tornado?" She wanted to know.

"Not that long." He squinted.

"We can't live in a cave." Lex was in a huff.

"What? You don't like the sleeping arrangements. Is that it?" He took a draw from the cigarette then.

She walked away from him then. He was beginning to think they'd both have to be drunk before they could like each other.

little quirks

2009-09-15T17:39:00.003-05:00

Noah couldn't help but smile. If it wasn't Josie's hair, well....it was something else. He felt as he was becoming himself, and it seemed like the perfect day to go into town. Lex so wanted to find an Internet connection. You would have thought Jonah was depriving her, some how. As if she'd been kidnapped and tortured.

She strutted ahead while Noah and Josie wandered around as if there were sights to be taken in when actually, all there was was a fish and tackle place with gas, The Burger bar, then the grocery and drug store combo. Luckily there was a radio shack, and it had an Internet service where you could buy a device for your computer for online necessities.

"Jackpot." Lex finally smiled. You would have thought she won the lottery when she got her laptop hooked up.

"What about yours Josie?" Lex couldn't believe she didn't want to do this too.

"I think I'll hold off. You know, if something goes wrong with your laptop we can use mine for a backup." Josie told her.

"Don't talk like that." Lex didn't need a bad vibe so Jonah stayed behind with her at the Burger bar while Josie and Noah walked the streets that went up and down through the hills of the town.

"I would hate to be Jonah right now," Josie said to Noah.

"Maybe they're different when they aren't around us." Noah was hoping for the best.

"Fat chance of that happening. Lex isn't exactly a sweetheart, now is she?" Josie walked on and Noah followed her as if he might be her lost puppy. She took his hand then and gripped it as if she wanted him there with her for every little moment.

They stumbled into an old book store. It was so quaint and smelled of old books and there was a calico cat that rubbed against their legs as if it was pleased they'd came in. There were two middle aged women gabbing away over a plate of cadbury chocolate caramels and drinking coffee. Finally, the one with bleached out hair looked at Josie, up and down.

"My I wish we had someone who lived here who could do hair like this." She mentioned to the other.

"Well, there is somebody who just moved here who does hair, like this." Josie sounded excited at first, but then her words came out slowly since she wasn't so sure she should be talking, Noah guessed. He just looked at her embarrassed.

"Who? Tell me, who?" The woman's eyes got so big as if maybe someone was telling her a celebrity moved in to town.

"He can do it." Josie pointed to Noah. She smiled so much she had to bite her bottom lip.

"Really?" She was serious. She introduced herself to him. Her name was Vanessa, and she ran a beauty shop around the corner. Before Noah knew it, she was offering him a job. Noah stood there shocked. This was the last thing he expected.

the show must go on

2009-09-11T20:09:00.003-05:00

Josie kept her eyes shut tight as the ice cold water slid through her hair and down the kitchen drain.

"Now will I be blond?" She wanted to know.

"Yeah, you'll be blond." Noah told her as he dried her hair with a towel.

She shivered, barely opening one eye. Expecting it to be green. Blue. Pick your color. She supposed. But it was so blond. Like she'd never seen before.

"Well blow dry it!" She wanted to see it clearly. It was still a shock to see it wet, but dry. That would be...well, she wasn't sure if she liked it or not. That was the real test.

"OK," he kind of laughed and went to work. She just sat there in amazement. This might have been better than sex. Seriously. But she wouldn't tell him that because he was the best. In so many ways. Not like some Casanova, but this amazing person who she felt really comfortable with. Really safe. Yeah, that's it. And now, the hair. She couldn't believe it.

"What did you do?" She wanted to know.

"I-uh, followed the directions," he winced. "Do you hate it?"

"I love it!" She squealed. Then yelled for Lex to come take a look. Josie looked in the mirror noticing how bashful Noah was. "Seriously, you have to do this for a living. You have too!"

"Is that an order," he managed to say as he almost grinned, but was afraid too.

She saw Lex in the doorway with her arms crossed. "You gotta let him do you." Josie grinned.

"What is she talking about?" Lex looked at Noah.

"Um, I blondized her." He shrugged.

Lex smiled. Josie knew she'd touch her hair and she did. Josie touched Lex's. It was so brittle and awful. Josie looked back at Noah and mouthed, "Seriously, you have to do her."

dreamer

2009-09-05T01:58:00.003-05:00

Lex was a bit sullen with Noah when he showed up with cornflakes.

"What, you think you can get lucky over a bowl of cornflakes?" She was already dressed. The bed made. She was coming to the kitchen and then he showed up with coffee, too.

"No." He looked at her blankly. She'd clearly shot him down. She was good at this. Sometimes, she couldn't help herself. It was impossible to be sweet. But maybe he liked that about her. Or he expected her gruffness.

She gritted then. How come she went in bouts like this. Was it the signs of weakness? Did she just have to keep this wall of hers coming back up the sheild her from the unthinkable? Or did old habits never die?

Lex made an effort then and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks," she said and took the coffee.

"You want to go for a walk after breakfast," he then offered.

"I'd rather get the internet." She looked at him.

"All right."

"You think we can last here through winter?" She still wasn't sure she was ready to buy into all this wilderness stuff. There had to be a better way.

"I think we can." He nodded as if he knew exactly what he was doing. She wanted to believe him. She did, but there was still a part of her that thought he was just a dreamer. Just a dreamer.

how to not talk about it

2009-09-03T01:56:00.003-05:00

"So you're OK?" Jonah didn't know what else he was suppose to say to his brother. It wasn't that he thought this conversation would ever really come up. He just figured his brother would carry that condom around forever.

Actually, he was a little let down that he wasn't first on the virginity thing. You know, giving it up first. But then again, he liked the fact that he hadn't either. It was a sense a pride. Really. Of course, it was something he never spoke of with his friends. Well, he wasn't sure they were actual friends. He'd remained aloof as if he knew exactly what they were talking about. He'd give a nod and smoke a cigarette and look at them as if they could all fuck themselves as far as he was concerned. He was rather mysterious that way.

"Yeah," Noah nodded as if he didn't want to talk about it, either. Jonah understood that.

"As long as you're both happy, you know." Jonah lit his cigarette.

"Yeah, absolutely." Of course, they could have been talking about anything. Anything but Noah having sex with Josie.

Noah got out some corn flakes then and grabbed the milk. He got bowls of cereal ready for he and Josie.

Jonah watched him cut the slices of bananna on top. He couldn't help but smile. Really, Noah was great at this kind of thing. Always there for Josie. Noah puffed on his cigarette and tried not to watch. He supposed he could bring Lex breakfast in bed, but did he really want to?

coffee and cigarettes

2009-08-30T03:36:00.004-05:00

Noah didn't know it would be quite like that with Josie.

Really, it was a shock. To actually be with her. He always thought he'd be the guy she'd come to first to tell him everything that happened when it was her first time. But she hadn't. She'd hidden it so well. And he felt like a frozen popsicle when she told him who it was.

It hurt so bad to hear she wasn't a virgin. It wasn't that he looked at her differently. Exactly. It was just having to know before. Right before.

He smiled thinking it was going to happen again. Not this one shot deal. Of course, he'd been so still when it happened. The sex. He didn't want to think thats just what it was. He loved her, and she loved him.

No way, was he going to tell his brother that Josie made the first move. But maybe he expected it. Noah wouldn't talk about it. But the memory was tattooed in his brain. She'd wanted him. Finally.

It was like winning the lottery. He didn't know what to do, but to watch her sleep in the sunlight now. As he laid there he thought he should do something. Probably not wake her. He put on his pajamma pants then and went to make some coffee.

Of course, Jonah had beat him too it.

"So?" Jonah looked up at him from the kitchen table as he played with a cigarette that he hadn't smoked.

"So what?" Noah swelled a scowl as if it were none of his business.

"You sly devil." Jonah snickered slightly.

"Just shut up."

"You did it." Jonah nodded. "You use the condom I gave you?"

Noah almost spilled coffee all over his hand when Jonah said that.

"Yeah." He lied as he went to pour his coffee.

into the night

2009-08-28T01:30:00.000-05:00

"You think it's the biggest mistake of your life, don't you?" They were in the dark in bed, but Lex could feel Jonah's warmth next to her.

"No." She was solemn. "I'm just fine. Its an adventure."

"No, it not. I don't know if any of this shit will work." He turned toward her and she turned away.

"Just don't talk like that," she said. "You have to believe it."

He breathed in her ear then as he pulled her closer and they spooned next to each other to keep warm.

"I'm glad you're here," he then said.

She felt herself smile as she sighed.

"I believe you." She sighed, turning back to him as she touched his face. It was so smooth and sweet and she kissed him then. He was so kissable. He kissed her back as if he'd waited all day for this chance to be with her. They were that way for some time. Finally they laid back on their pillow and stared at the ceiling. It was very quiet. Just outside bug noises that blended into the night air.

Lex heard a noise from the next room. The bed squeaked.

Lex held in a smile. She looked over at Jonah.

He shook his head.

"Noah's full of surprises, you know," She smirked slightly.

"Yeah, right."

She could feel his laughter take over. He held her hand then as if this was enough. Perhaps a foundation of some kind, and when he touched her side again, it was as if she knew that he knew just how important that she was here with him.

heart of steal

2009-08-22T01:02:00.000-05:00

Josie kept her arms wrapped around Noah's neck as her forehead pressed against his. She felt as if it were the perfect fit, somehow. The two of them. She'd never noticed before. It was so new and comfortable. Maybe too comfortable.

She felt his sigh. His hands on her waist as if they were in the midst of a slow dance with only their own music to make as she felt him sway so slightly that she fell into his steps as if she'd always wanted to do this dance with him.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered.

"You won't," she whispered back.

He kissed her as if he'd waited forever for her to be here at this very moment. Finally, they landed where they'd been navigating all along. The bed. It was like their own private island, and Josie wanted to make the most of it.

Her fingers slipped under his black T. He was so hot. She almost laughed, but she lingered for his warmth. He smiled happily.

"You just want to have your way with me, don't you?" Noah lightly laughed.

"Yes." She smiled as if this was good. It would be.

He started to say something, but she gave him an open kiss.

"Don't talk," she said. "You talk too much. And I don't want you talking me out of this." She sighed turning off the lamp so the moonlight washed over them.

"Josie-"

"Shush-" She put a finger over his lips, and felt down the front pocket of his jeans then. There it was. She thought she'd noticed the wrapper before.

"Ah hah! I knew it." She held it up in the moonlight. "You had it all along. Thought you'd get lucky, didn't you?"

"No."

She thought she was loosing him fast here by exposing one little thing he kept in his pocket.

"My brother gave it to me." He tried to snatch it back, but she kept it from him.

"Of course," Josie sighed. "You are virgin, right?"

"Are you?"

It felt as if everything was at a stand still.

"Are you?" Noah asked again.

"Would it bother you, if-"

"No." He was quiet then as if he should have known.

"I wanted to get it over with, all right." She then said. "It wasn't that great. I thought it was pathetic. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. It was just so, there you go. I'm done how about you kind of thing. I don't think it changed me."

She could hear him breathing ever so slightly.

"It was that guy I used to take walks with last year. The one who-who lived with his sister down the street. He just broke up with his college girlfriend. I guess I thought since he was older and was in college he would have been better, but it was just that. Sex."

She heard his little sigh as if she might be killing him. Josie finally saw the small tears in his eyes. She felt badly for him as if she'd taken a knife of some kind and stabbed again and again only he didn't bleed. Just tears.

"I wanted to be honest, with you, OK?" She told him as she kissed the salt from his eyes.

in the warmth of things

2009-08-20T02:36:00.004-05:00

"Its colder here than I remember," Noah said to Josie once they said their good nights to Lex and Jonah and went to their room.

"That might not be so bad." Josie shrugged as if she didn't mind.

"I got the stuff we need to blondize your hair." He got out the box and showed her. "I'm just not sure you'll want to do it so early in the morning. You might think we'll freeze your hair, or something."

"No, I won't." She smiled, twisting and turning as if she couldn't wait. She gave him a quick kiss.

"What was that for?" Noah winced slightly with a smile.

"That, we made it this far." She wouldn't stop staring at him. "You know, we could be somewhere in what's left of that building."

Noah nodded, not wanting to think about it.

"I'm pretty sure they think we're lost in the fire or something." She nodded.

"Well, this isn't Tom Sawyer, you know." Noah shrugged.

"Thank God, we might be lost in a cave right now if we were them." She grinned and put her arms around him.

When she kissed him so softly and longing then, Noah had to wonder if she was asking for something very serious. How did she know, he'd been thinking of it for quite while now.

supper at last

2009-08-16T02:12:00.002-05:00

"You didn't think we could do it, did you?" Jonah gave Noah a high five. The toilet was as good as new. And the girls had already cleaned out the dirt and all in the bathroom. Of course, it wouldn't be easy sharing a bathroom, Jonah supposed. But they had no choice in the matter.

Noah smiled with satisfaction.

"See if nothing else we can keep the cabin updated when ever they sell it." Jonah told him.

Something was cooking in the kitchen. Beans and franks were on the stove. Maybe not the best supper ever, but Jonah was hungry.

"Glad you got the stove working." Jonah sighed.

"The pilot light was out." Noah nodded. "You think we'll need a fire tonight?"

"No." Jonah wondered what they'd need next. He had already heard from Lex that a washer and dryer was on her wish list.

They went to eat with the girls even if was rather meager. No one said anything for awhile. Actually, everyone was rather exhausted. Jonah wasn't sure if it were the trip or something in the air. He looked at Lex who was so frazzled.

Jonah thought washing up the dishes was the least he could.

freshening up

2009-08-12T01:57:00.004-05:00

Josie stripped the beds like Lex asked and took the covers out to the clothes line to beat the dust out.

"God, what are we suppose to do," Lex fretted. "We don't even have a washer and dryer." She scratched at her neck. Josie couldn't be sure if it were her nerves or she was allergic to something.

"I think Noah has some benadryl," Josie mentioned.

"I'll need that for later when I can't get to sleep." Lex huffed who was trying to beat out the dust and spiders and anything else in the covers, but she was dragging the sheets along the heavy grass out back. "Can it get any worse?"

"But you're with Jonah." Josie reminded her.

"So." She didn't sound thrilled.

"Just calm down, you aren't doing any of us any good to be so-so you." Josie shrugged.

"I can't help it if I'm this way," Lex said almost teary eyed.

"You could go home. I don't see why you shouldn't. You could." Josie told her as she went back in to sweep the bedroom floors. She was determined to get a clean start for the night.

"No." Lex followed her in. "Goddamn-it, I want this to work with Jonah. I'll never another chance."

"So you're saying opportunity is knocking?" Josie grinned.

"Something like that." She fluffed the pillows then as sunlight was creeping away into the night. "I just have to figure out how to get with the program."

getting the story straight

2009-08-08T01:39:00.003-05:00

Noah and Jonah had taken a quick trip into town to get a new toilet.

"I don't think anyone remembers me." Noah told Jonah on the way back.

"You look different now," Jonah said as they hurried home before dark. "We were never townies."

"Yeah."

"But we will be soon."

Noah glared at Jonah then. What was he talking about?

"We're staying?" Noah squinted hard. "How?"

"Don't start in with me, I got enough to deal with Lex. She's not exactly Laura Ingalls Wilder, you know." Jonah kept driving as if he was afraid Lex might have burned the cabin down by now.

"I'm afraid, you know, we'll get caught and then what?" Noah shook his head. He liked being a law abiding citizen.

"I'm not saying we'll be here forever. As long as it takes, all right." Jonah winced.

"But I don't know what you want me to do?"

"I want you to call Mom and tell her everything is OK. Tell her you are OK." Jonah told him.

"What about you?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm already gone as far as she's concerned. I'm not there. She's used to not hearing from me. She knows good news is no news with me." Jonah reminded him.

Noah looked out the window and saw the sunsetting on the lake. It was golden. He felt so sad that his mother would think of Jonah that way. He didn't believe it for a minute.

it takes one to know one

2009-08-05T01:19:00.004-05:00

"Do you have any idea what you're doing?" Lex found Jonah leaning against a big boulder out back looking at the shore.

"Do you?" He said point blank and practically blew smoke in her face.

"I hate this, you know." She swelled up as if she might spit on him.

"I know. None of the comforts of home. Not a TV in sight. Its so not you." Jonah sighed.

Lex hugged herself and snatched his cigarette to take a long draw from it. She blew smoke rings then.

"Impressive."

"Well?" She needed to know what he was going to do.

"What?" He looked back at her as she handed him the cigarette. "What do you want me to do?"

"Internet for starters." She suggested.

"Oh, right, of course," he sighed as if he'd get right on it. Of course, she didn't believe him.

Lex gave him a sore look.

"You might have to make a few sacrifices," he said as he finished up his smoke and put it out on the boulder.

"Like what?" She squinted. "Haven't I done enough?"

"Hardly." He scratched the side of his forehead then. "You'll have to be my wife."

"What?" She turned away from him. What sort of outrageous talk was that.

"They like married people around here. Go figure," Jonah shrugged. "Something about stability, I guess, anyway, it'll be fake. We just have to fake it, all right. I got my fake ID, we'll go from there. Got it."

Lex closed her eyes. She'd never been without so many things before. Was she losing it? Did he say what she thought he said? Withdrawl was bad. Very bad. Indeed.

into the wild

2009-08-02T10:35:00.003-05:00

The lake was majestic and tucked away in the woods. It was like another world. There was a chill in the air. Instantly, it tasted like poison from the cold. It was a mysterious feeling.

Josie was a bit overwhelmed by the beauty. It was so natural and yet ire. She wasn't sure what to say when they pulled up to the rustic cabin.

"Are you sure there's electricity?" Lex asked immediately.

"uh-huh." Jonah sighed as he was the last to come down the hill from the driveway to the path toward the cabin.

"Its just like I remembered." Noah nodded who went right in. It was small, but enough room for the four of them. Two bedrooms. Of course, it was so dusty and spider webs shaded the windows.

Lex started coughing. She went straight to a window to open it, but couldn't. Jonah followed her around, opening what ever she pointed too. Josie just smiled. He was exactly what Lex always wanted. Her yes boy.

Josie found the bathroom. It was not in the best of shape. It needed a good cleaning. She flushed the commode. It barely worked. "I hope somebody is a plumber." She backed away. It reeked.

"This was not what I imagined." Jonah sighed. "But we'll make it work. We have too." He went out to smoke a cigarette as if he needed time to think.

Of course, Noah started unloading stuff. Josie went to help. She watched him unload his backpack full of jerky and Twizzlers. There were a few cans of soda and apple juice too.

"So which room is ours." She wanted to know.

"I'm not sure." He squinted as they went to look at the rooms. "I suppose Jonah would want the bigger of the two."

"But they are the same size." Josie pointed out. Each room had a regular sized bed in them.

"Yeah, looks to be so." Noah nodded. "We might be staying here for a while."

Josie wanted to melt into tears. She was a bit woozy from the shock. She hugged Noah tight, feeling this was all her fault.

remembering

2009-07-30T02:27:00.006-05:00

It donned on Jonah as they got closer to their destination that there was a lot to think about. Then and now.

It would be easy. At least in the beginning until the money ran out. What would he do then? He didn't want to think about that. Especially, when all he remembered at the moment was Kris who was on his mind. An old elementary school friend.

He hadn't anticipated the sharp pain in his heart as they crossed the border to Minnesota. But he remembered this road well with his friend when they came here to fish.

It was a more innocent time. They were boy scouts and loved fishing and were going to make the world a better place. Especially Kris, who was so excited to get away from the city. He loved the lake and what it had to offer. A true boy scout. Some at school said he was genius, but Jonah never got that. He just saw him as someone who found the good in everything. He was grateful for every little thing. Kris didn't have much to begin with. Sometimes, it was annoying to Jonah. But really, when Jonah thought about it, he was a true role model, and he wasn't even twelve yet.

They'd had fun that summer at the cabin. Back when he was even buddies with Noah. They'd been around the lake and back a couple of times. They would have swam across it if they could. It might have been Lord of the Flies if Jonah's mother hadn't been with them. But she was there to take care of mosquito bites and cuts and bruises along with her famous tuna salad and pancakes.

It made Jonah sad to remember now. It had been such a glorious summer. So much to look forward too. Middle school. And he was certain of it then that he and Kris would be best friends forever. That's what it was supposed to be. Only it wasn't.

Jonah accidentally had Kris' cap. It was a beat up base ball cap. Something from the Kansas City Royals. He couldn't think when Kris ever saw a baseball game because he never went anywhere, anyway. He was always there for his Mom. And Jonah knew Kris' Mom had her ups and downs. More downs that ups. She couldn't hold down a job due to her anger issues. He remembered from time to time that Kris would show up at his house because his Mom kicked him out for silly things like not cleaning the kitty-litter box enough, or he wasn't doing his chores to her standards.

Kris had finally met his father, but still he stayed with his Mom because he often said she needed him. Jonah didn't think about it much then, but he never got to give Kris' baseball cap back to him.

He was gone. He wasn't there for the first day of middle school. Somebody said he must have moved. Jonah was furious. His best friend didn't tell him he was going anywhere. He'd heard nothing from him after their trip. Jonah hated himself now that he wished he hadn't been so mad at him. It was a horrible feeling now.

Back then, it was way into September before people started to worry about Kris. And then people started noticing the stench from Kris' house.

Jonah's eyes were red rimmed now as he remembered listening of the discovery on the local news. At first Kris was missing, but he was found.

There was a body in the bathtub where Kris lived. No one knew who it was or how long it had been there, but it was gagged and duct taped, covered in kitty litter.

Now as Jonah drove his way toward the cabin, he hoped this was not a bad omen of things to come. Was this the right place to be? This was where all the really happy times had been, that he could remember.

perhaps a bargain

2009-07-27T02:25:00.001-05:00

Noah ordered a couple of cheap burgers for the road.

"You have enough cash?" Jonah offered to pay.

Noah shook his head, no.

"You gonna keep giving me the silent treatment?" Jonah wanted to know.

"We never talked at home," Noah reminded him. "Whats the point now?"

"Look, we've got to stick together if this gonna work." Jonah glared back at Noah who stared back just as hard.

"Is that what you're doing with Lex? Sticking together?"

"That was her idea." Jonah sighed.

"Yeah, right." Noah didn't believe him.

"Believe what you want." Jonah told him. "Nothing happened."

Noah nodded.

"So just when did you two decide everything was going to be so happy?" Jonah wanted to know about him and Josie.

"I dunno." Noah shrugged. "I guess we decided to make the best of a bad situation." He grabbed his bag of burgers then. He wondered just how far they could get on a cheap meal. Just what kind of cash was Jonah talking about?

so how is it

2009-07-24T01:27:00.002-05:00

They had to wait until 11 in the morning for Wendy's to open up. Lex went to the restroom with Josie.

"Do you like it?" Josie was still staring herself in the mirror as if she couldn't imagine Noah could actually do such a good job.

"Yeah, its great."

"How great are things with you and Jonah?" Josie looked at her then as Lex was putting on more eye-liner.

"Evidently, not as great as you and Noah." She huffed.

"I'm- I thought about what you said, and, and I should give Noah a chance." Josie leaned against the restroom sink watching Lex. "I guess you think its hokey."

"I don't think its hokey." Lex tried not to let her emotions show. "Its sweet. You're really good for each other."

"What's going on with you and Noah?" Josie looked at her innocently.

"Nothing." Lex said quickly.

"When are you going stop lying to yourself?" Josie grinned. "You've always had a thing for him. And he knows it. So who's being immature now?" Josie left then.

Lex just scowled and put her make up away.

how in the world

2009-07-20T03:39:00.003-05:00

Stepping out on my own
The world was too big to face alone
The mission was clear
To find something sincere, a love unknown

I searched through all the universe
My heart crash-landed on the earth
I gave up on my love pursuit
Until I discovered you

How in the world did I find someone like you
Why in the world after all that we've been through
If you weren't here with me right now, then I don't know what I'd do
In all of the world I found my heart in you

Getting ready for take-off
We're gonna break-off, get out of here
We'll be walking on air
We're gonna tear through the atmosphere

Faster than the speed of sound
Gravity can't hold us down
When we touch we elevate
Let's just float away

This is the end of the life we once knew
How in the world did I live without you
This is the birth of a love so true
How in the world did I live without you
-Family Force 5

Josie and Noah had decided their song was how in the world.

"We just decided." They were in the backseat. The sun was coming in and Josie was wearing her bumble-bee like sunshades as is she were a pop-star with the haircut Noah had gave her.

"Ain't that grand." Jonah drove on, doing his best to stay the speed limit. He just needed to get to the cabin and then he'd feel better about things. Maybe.

"When did they become so lovey-dovey, so suddenly?" Lex winced at Jonah.

"Who cares." He wouldn't look at her. It was awkward as hell this morning, and he hadn't had to explain a thing to Noah nor Josie. It was as if they'd expected it or perhaps accepted it. Jonah wasn't sure what he thought. Why was it Lex always had to make the move. Not that they'd moved very far. As it was, he wasn't sure he'd speak to her today.

She looked away then when he looked over at her. He thought of kissing her. How that would feel? Right now. On this drive. It played out in his head so cool, electric charged. But he guessed she'd fight him. She'd find a way. It was best to ignore her. Not care. Wasn't that what he was good at.

"Can we stop for ice cream?" Lex asked.

"Ice cream? Its ten in the morning? " Jonah squinted.

"I'm surprising you." She gave him a half puckered smile.

"That's a surprise?" Was this an inside joke? Did this have something to do with last night and what she was after and what was suppose to happen?

"Did you ever call your Mom?" He wanted to know.

"Yes, I did." She nodded. "I told her I was just fine. She told me how I missed the tornado. How she was glad I was in Kansas. Need I say more?"

"That is a surprise," Jonah nodded. "I figured you hadn't." There was a Wendy's just off the interstate. "Will Wendy's do."

"Yes, something with coffee and chocolate, most definitely." She almost smiled. It was then he realised she hadn't had breakfast.

to her surprise

2009-07-19T02:18:00.004-05:00

Josie didn't know what to say about Lex being with Jonah. She was surprised, sort of. She guessed. Actually, she didn't think of Lex having it in her to even like guys. She was like the extreme feminist. And then this. Josie was in the state of shock.

But neither she nor Noah spoke of it. Instead she stared in the bathroom mirror while Noah started snipping away.

He seemed to be extra careful. Like he might cut off her ear or something. Was he that afraid of her? Had she made him feel that bad about everything.

"I know I'm going to like it." She promised.

"It can always grow out." He told her, but he held his breath.

"I don't know why you're like this." She smiled, but she got nothing from him. He was focused as he combed her hair. Such precision. It was like a science. She guessed. Maybe math too.

"Did you see them?" Josie decided to ask him.

"Well, Lex wasn't sleeping next to me." Noah said matter of fact-like.

"How did that happen?"

"I guess she couldn't sleep," Noah said, snipping a piece here then. More there. More combing. "I wish I had a razor." He mentioned then.

"Why? You don't look like you need a shave," Josie said looking him in the mirror, squinting.

"No, for your hair." Noah sighed.

"What if he came and got her out of bed?" Josie then said.

"He wouldn't do that." Noah shook his head.

"What if it had been me?"

"What? You wanted to?" Jonah squinted.

"No." She looked hurt that he'd say such a thing.

"Look, I don't know what happened." Noah told her. "Why don't you ask her?"

"I can't." She looked at him wide eyed.

"Well, be quiet and hold still. I have to do your bangs." He sucked in a breath.

"I like having my own personal hairdresser, don't know why I didn't ask you before." She grinned.

"Because you laughed that I would even think of being a hairdresser." He combed her hair over her eyes and started cutting.

morning comes

2009-07-18T02:17:00.004-05:00

Noah was startled by the sunlight and the fact he might be hugging Lex, but it was just her pillow. What a relief, he thought.

He jerked himself up. Did he really see what he thought he saw? He couldn't help but stare. There his brother was hugging Lex as if she might fall out of bed and hurt herself, otherwise. Noah squinted not sure what to make of it. Not sure he really wanted to know.

He tip-toed quietly to the bathroom and did his morning usual. Honestly, he didn't know what to expect today. It was early yet, and he needed coffee. He pulled on his flip-flops. There were free coffee and donuts at the office. The continental breakfast.

"What kind of donuts do you like?" He said very quietly to Josie when he returned to bed.

"What!" She rammed her nose into his, somehow. The crash of noses was a bit more painful than Noah wanted to admit.

"Its OK. Its OK." He backed away wiggling his nose a bit. Why had he asked? Chocolate. She liked anything with chocolate. "Wait here," he got up. "I'll bring you some coffee and donuts, OK?"

He shuffled off to the office then. He supposed Josie wasn't really a morning person.

Noah left the door unlocked behind him and went to the motel office to fetch breakfast. Of course, when he saw a family with two little kids, he thought he might be underdressed. He was going to make it quick.

"I'm getting something for my friend." He mentioned to the clerk. He got cups of black coffee and little pails of cream along with a napkin filled with a couple of chocolate covered donuts. Thankfully, nothing was said. He hurried back to the room.

"Here you go." He left it on the dresser.

"Your nose didn't bleed or anything, did it?" She reminded him of the nose mishap.

"No, no, I'm breathing just fine." He sniffed. As he experimented with the coffee, putting in sugars and cream, he finally took a sip. Ugh!

"God, thats the worst coffee ever!" Noah made a face.

He watched Josie choke it down black. Noah could hardly watch as he stuffed a donut in his mouth. It wasn't much better.

"So what are you going to do to me?" Josie said point blank.

Noah coughed up the donut, barely missing Josie's black toe-nails. He stared at the mess on the floor.

"What are you talking about?" He winced.

"You know, my hair." She winced back.

"OH." He cleared his throat as he looked at her long thick virgin hair. "oh." He had to think about this. She didn't dye her hair. She didn't cut her hair. "What do you want me to do to it?"

"Just something."

"I dunno." He didn't want to. "You might hate me."

"But you have your beautican's license." She told him, making him feel over qualified.

"Yes, thats true." The only boy in the beautican class at school. "But it would be like, you know, me hurting you, in a sense. You might not like it."

"Maybe I would." She smiled.

"I don't think so." He sighed. It was hard to be optomistic. "You have really good hair. I should leave it alone, I know what Jonah said. But maybe we should just take you to your grandma's. You know, and, yeah, that's what we should do." He got cold chills thinking about it. Her going away to her grandma's. Never seeing her again.

"I'd rather you cut my hair. I'm not banking they let me stay with her. They wouldn't before. My dad said it was kidnapping." She told him.

"Well, then, lets do it." Noah needed to find the scissors.

the first time

2009-07-17T03:57:00.004-05:00

Everyone looked like they were snoozing when Jonah opened the bathroom door. He was just in his black briefs, and it felt like a fridge in the motel room. Somebody liked it cold. He wondered who that could be who was hogging all the covers in bed with Noah and Josie. Lex?

He thought it kind of funny as he cut the bathroom light, but he jumped under the covers as fast as he could in the dark before his teeth started chattering. Honestly, he didn't want to think about how the day unfolded and how it could have played out. Really, he could have walked on. Walked right out of this ordeal without even a scratch. Why hadn't he? Did he really have a conscience, after all?

Jonah kept both of his hands behind his head waiting for sleep to set in. He didn't want to have bad dreams. Actually, he just didn't want to be bad, and he knew that's what Noah thought of him. Possibly, Josie too. Just a matter of time before Lex knew. He guessed she did. But then she was her pouty self, it was too hard to tell with her. She was such a fickle girl. So fickle. He liked the word fickle as he thought of her as a Popsicle, some how. The ice queen. The bitter pill. He drifted off to sleep then as if he were fading from the shore, drifting in the dark. Like always. Alone.

A sudden weight pulled him awake. As if he were bobbing up in the dark waters of his sleep. How long had he been out? How long had she been there. He was barely conscious. It almost took his breath away.

She. Was. Touching....

"Lex," he whispered. As his eyes adjusted, he knew it was her. Plus her hair was practically straw. "What are you doing?"

Well, it was all in her hands. He didn't really want to ruin the moment, but then it was so not what he was expecting. The nerve of her. It didn't completely turn him off, but she was a little creepy.

He turned on the lamp next to the bed. He had to be certain. Not some stray prostitute who found the wrong room.

It was Lex. And her hand was in his briefs and something was peaking up, as if he didn't already know.

He cut the light. Laid there still. She was not letting go.

"Would you tell me what you-" he kept his voice low.

"You really are spoiling this." He could barely hear her.

"Me?" he said so breathy. "Just let go. Just let it go."

"Won't you try to do something?" She whispered back.

"No. Not with you. Not right now." It sounded so negative. He didn't mean it, exactly right now. "I kind of thought we'd take it slow, and we'd be alone. I mean, you wanted to-whatever-with them in the room?" He squinted.

Finally, she let go.

"Jesus, Lex, you-you're-I dunno what to say." He sighed. Was this her surprise? Jesus, he guessed he'd asked for it.

She wasn't exactly spilling her guts out about this. Maybe he didn't even want to know.

"Can we just start over?" He asked.

He supposed her little sigh meant, yes. He hugged her ever so carefully.. as if it was going to be OK. He kissed her forehead . "Just let me sleep, will you?" It was going to be a long day tomorrow.

to sleep or not

2009-07-16T01:54:00.005-05:00

"You know, no one really wants to sleep with you." Lex looked at Jonah as if he could sleep in the car for all she cared.

"Fine." He shrugged. "I like having the whole bed to myself." He looked over at the big queen sized bed.

As it was Lex had Noah between her and Josie. It felt like a pajama party. She'd actually slept with both of them loads so it really wasn't a shot in the dark.

"Fine." She was in her new black and white checked pajama pants and a black tank while Josie was listening to the Family Force 5 on Noah's mp3 player. He actually had ear buds too so he could listen and chill with her. Everyone donned their new lounge apparel. Noah was in gray and Josie was in purple.

"I'm sleeping with my clothes on." Jonah told Lex.

"I don't care what you sleep in." She gave him a hard squint.

"I won't bite." He shrugged throwing back the covers and plopped himself down on the bed.

Lex just watched.

"Dang," he then said so southern. "I need shower." He looked up at her. "You guys didn't use all the hot water, did you?"

Lex wouldn't say, and Noah and Josie couldn't hear him.

So he went to the bathroom then. Lex wanted to fall asleep, but she couldn't. She was waiting for everyone to go to sleep.

a pain in the butt

2009-07-15T01:05:00.006-05:00

"You know, you really look great in those army boots, but would you like some flip-flops?" Jonah reached for a pink pair but grabbed the black ones with the skull and crossbones at Wal-mart.

Naturally, Lex was her sullen self. Not saying a word.

"I'm thinking we should all go in cognito. Change our hair color."

"What, be a carnie?" She looked up at him.

"I don't think we have to go that far. I just want to keep Josie safe." He sighed.

"Of course, you would." She stared at him.

Jonah rolled his eyes.

He tossed in some cheap ribbed tank-tops and pajamma pants as if they'd be doing a lot of lounging soon.

"Do you cook out?" He asked then.

"Do I look like I would?" She was cold. Almost hostile.

"Not really, but you could surprise me." Jonah shrugged.

"Are you saying I can't surprise you?" She snarled.

"I'm waiting." He smiled. He pushed the cart then toward hair colors. "We have to bleach her hair."

"Who's hair?"

He grabbed the scizzors, especially for barbers.

"We gotta make sure we get all the red out." He looked at every one of the hair dyes. "What did you use?"

"I went to a professional." Lex shrugged.

"What's the best?"

"None of these." She shook her head.

Jonah picked up Born Blond.

"No, never." She put it back. She looked at all the hair products.

"This is going to take forever, isn't it?" Jonah sighed as he watched Lex.

the next level

2009-07-14T06:49:00.000-05:00

After pizza, Noah wasn't sure he wanted to do this.

"If you tell her, she'll understand," Jonah told him about this whole ordeal with her Dad. "Look, Lex is coming with me. We'll do a little shopping. I'll bring you back scissors and then you can have your way with Josie. I'll save the other stuff for when we get to the cabin."

Noah nodded.

Jonah got up then. "I'll clear this up with Lex. You'll see, smooth as butter."

Noah scowled.

"Where are they going?" Josie wanted to know, but Jonah was gone with Lex.

Noah looked up at least Josie was back in her little dress.

"I have something to tell you." Noah shrugged. "You probably wanted to hear it from Jonah. Anyway, we have to change your look."

"My look." She winced.

"Jonah thinks someone might come looking for you so he wants you to change your identity." Noah sighed.

"Are you crazy?"

"No, but your Daddy is," Noah said. "Have you ever heard of human trafficking?" He winced.

"Yeah, that happens like in third world countries." She looked at him as if he didn't know what he was talking about.

"Not always." Noah bit his bottom lip. "Jonah says that's what your dad was going to do to you."

Josie squinted hard.

"Just because I hit him with a frying pan?"

"I don't think that was it. That probably had nothing to do with it. Probably a gambling debt. Who knows." Noah shrugged.

Josie hugged herself and let out a sigh.

"How can this be happening?" She plopped herself next to him. He gently squeezed her shoulder.
"How did Jonah know?" She looked at him.

"He knows stuff." Noah sighed. "You know, he sells weed. Who doesn't know that at school?"

She put her hands over her eyes then.

"I hate him." She whispered.

"Maybe he's not as bad as you think he is," Noah said.

She cried into his shoulder then. Noah was beginning to think that was all he was good for.

why not

2009-07-13T03:40:00.006-05:00

"I'm ordering Dominos." Jonah announced. "What would you like?" He asked Lex first.

"Why are you being nice to me?" She looked at him as if he had some other motive in mind.

"Just trying to get in your pants, that's all." He looked at her blankly. "Come on, what kind of pizza do you like?"

"Cheese." Really, she couldn't choke down loaded pizza.

"All right, we'll get one with everything on it and one with cheese." He picked up the phone then. He ordered bottles of pop too.

Lex nursed her upper lip.

"Why are you so nervous?" Jonah wanted to know when he set next to her on the bed. He put his arm around her, and she flinched ever so slightly. "You'll feel better once you sleep with me."

She winced.

"You're full of it." She scowled.

"Yeah, I know." He shrugged. "But we all can't be your whipping boy like Noah over there. Its all your fault, you know, if he's gay." He touched her nose as if he were playing some game with her.
She gave him an ugly scowl then.

"You know you want me," he grinned.

It didn't mean anything was going to happen. She was going to tell him too. But she didn't. She just looked at him. Then at Noah. Lex felt like a turtle then. She wanted to hide in her shell. Only there was nothing to hide in. It was so open now. Apparently. The look she was getting even from Josie.

God, Lex couldn't wait for the pizza to get there.

good ship lollipop

2009-07-12T01:33:00.006-05:00

"Oh, goodie, I get to sleep with my brother." Noah said a little groggy as Jonah set down at the edge of the bed.

"Are you out of your fuck'n head?" Jonah scowled. "No way."

"Yeah, I don't think Lex will let you, you know," Noah nudged his head toward the bathroom where Josie was taking a good 30 minute shower.

"Did I say I was sleeping with Josie?" Jonah shrugged.

"Are you kidding me? Lex?" Noah rose up on his elbows.

"Um, yeah." Jonah sounded sold on the idea.

"Are you wanting to sleep on a chair or the floor?"

"No," Jonah yawned.

"Just sleep with me." Noah nodded.

"That sounds so gay." Jonah shook his head.

"Can you stop saying that?" Noah stared at Jonah.

Just then Josie came out of the bathroom with a fluffy white towel wrapped around her. Both of them looked at her without meaning too.

finally, a shower

2009-07-11T01:24:00.004-05:00

"I need a shower," Josie said right away once they got in their room. It wasn't a four star hotel, but family oriented. It was nice enough. And two big beds.

Josie dropped her stuff and went straight for the bathroom. Noah dropped his stuff by the bed and fell right into it. He yawned so big he might fall asleep instantly.

"Did you need to go pee or anything?" Josie wondered. He just kept his eyes closed as if he didn't hear her. She shut the door then and turned on the shower as she peeled off everything.

The hot water did the trick. Just what she needed to wake up. Naturally, her stomach growled. She was hungry but nothing made her really happy for an appetite.

She soaped up and shampooed. It was the best feeling to be clean. And the idea was stuck in her head that Jonah was the best. She couldn't help smiling about what he'd done for her. He was a hero in her book, and she couldn't wait to be around him more. She had a feeling they could really hit it off.

in a little world

2009-07-10T03:05:00.006-05:00

Jonah hoped Noah kept his mouth shut about the whole Josie thing. Nobody needed to get scared. He was sure it would all blow over. God, he hoped so. But there always seemed to be her dad. Did he hate her that much just to sale her, or did he have too? Had he gambled that much away?

Jonah didn't really want to know. It was all a little vile to him. What was worse, what people could do to each other or what nature could do to people? If only he could get nature on his side to fight the people he wanted gone.

"So what did you find out?" Jonah asked. Lex was being awful quiet on her laptop. "Are there pictures?"

"I guess the tornado was horrific. But there is a lot no one knows. Power is out. Old towne looks pretty fucked up. It even got the police station. Ate up that old building you guys were in." She looked back at Josie who was asleep. Noah was looking out at the grassy landscapes, as if he were in another world.

"Man, that is wack." It sounded so artificial to say, but that was all Jonah could come up with.

"God, I can't believe we were there." Lex frowned.

Jonah could see it was getting to Lex who looked so cold.

"But we made it, all right. That's all that matters." Jonah assured her.

"Sounds like there are all these gas leaks now. Places on fire. Like a living hell, you know." Lex grimaced more.

"I think you should get off that laptop now, missy." He looked at a sign on the interstate then. "Just twenty more miles to Sioux Falls. And then we can chill." But as he looked at Lex, she looked a bit frigided, already.

traveling

2009-07-09T02:28:00.004-05:00

Sperm travels faster toward attractive females....

Lex wasn't sure why that headline was still on the tip of her tongue. She hoped she didn't say anything about it. Really, she had no idea why it was on her mind.

"What did you say to him?" Lex looked at Jonah once they got situated back in the car. She was in the front seat with him and Noah and Josie were in the backseat.

"Nothing." He was so vague and relaxed. It annoyed her so much.

"You were talking about me," Lex assumed.

"No we weren't." He looked over at her and grinned.

She got out her laptop then.

"At five the free internet shuts down in Iowa." She informed everyone. She was googling to see if she could find out anything about the tornado. As of yet, nothing. Just that stupid story about sperm traveling. She rolled her eyes.

"What's wrong?" Jonah looked over at her as if she'd found something.

"Its nothing." She looked as soured with everything as usual.

"I don't suppose you told your Mom where you were going?" He wondered as he kept his eye on the road.

"She thinks I went to see my Dad." Lex told him.

"Where's your Dad?"

"Kansas."

"Maybe you should call her to let her know you made it just fine before she calls your Dad." Jonah advised.

"I'm not worried about that. They don't speak to each other." She said so coldly.

"Throw in a tornado, and I have a feeling she'll be calling." He informed her. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

"I'm suppose to lie, am I?"

"What do you think?"

"What's going on?" Lex winced.

"Right now, its just not a good time to go home, OK. We just need to lay low." He told her. "Can you make it all the way to Sioux Falls or do I have to stop in Sioux City?"

"Depends?" Lex looked at him. "What do have in mind?"

"We could get us a room if you want. Spend the night. We can get to the cabin by noon tomorrow. That is if you can handle it." He smirked.

"I can handle it." Lex slyly smiled. "Just how are you gonna get us a room?"

"Fake ID." He said as if it wasn't a problem. "Lets just say I'm 21 already in some circles."

Lex sighed. She needed to get to the bottom of this. Afterall, there was no tornado to deal with anymore.

all so natural

2009-07-08T03:04:00.004-05:00

Noah did his best to act natural. That nothing had been said. He was cool. Very cool. Just a damn cucumber.

"Hey, you're wearing that shirt I got you for Christmas." He acted all sweet around Lex. Maybe even flirty. He didn't care, but she was wearing the scull and cross bone baggy T that was so her.

"So." She remained her ominious self with her arms close to her.

"I thought you hated that fuck'n shirt." He lost his smile because she hated smiles, didn't she? Really, he felt his insides wanting to slip out and there was a pain in his chest that told him nothing would ever be the same, would it?

"I do. But I had nothing else to wear. You know, I haven't shopped in a year. I'm boycotting everything." She told him.

"Oh yeah, how is that going?"

"Perfectly, except I'm here." She kept her arms crossed.

Noah just nodded and went to check on Josie who was leaning against the car.

"You feeling, allright, aren't you?" He then acted as if maybe he should just leave her alone. He was probably being clingy, but really all he wanted to do was hug her.

He saw Jonah then as he was checking his silver studded belt.

"Maybe, we should just be carnies this summer, you know." Noah squinted then. "Now that would definitely be a summer to remember."

in the men's room

2009-07-07T02:47:00.006-05:00

"Where are we going? What are you doing?" Questions. Questions were all Jonah got from Noah.
"I'm thinking. I'm thinking." Jonah just nodded while he was peeing. "We could go to that lake we used to go to when we were kids. You know, Aunt Marie's."

"No," Noah shook his head. "I don't remember." He went to urniate in the urninal then while Jonah washed up.

"I'll think of something. I always do." Jonah shrugged.

"Why can't we go back?" Noah zipped his jeans and washed his hands.

"We need a vacation." Jonah slipped a smile.

"What does this really have to do with you? What kind of trouble are you in?" Noah squinted hard, looking at Jonah that he'd better spill it.

"Its not me," Jonah looked at his brother. "Its Josie. I don't want her Dad to find her."

"And?"

"And it could only be bad news." Jonah just said.

Noah lunged toward Jonah then and slammed him full force into the brick wall. Jonah gritted back. He did bump his head and it hurt.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!" Noah wanted to know holding his arm against Jonah's throat.

"Nothing." Jonah could barely breathe.

"I don't believe you!" Noah's teeth nashed.

"I had nothing to do with it, but-but he-he thinks Josie is worth more if-"

"What! What the fuck are trying to tell me!" Noah let go and looked at his brother as if this was crazy. He shook his head. "You were going to let them take her, weren't you? Just like-"

"Look! I didn't let anybody have Josie, now did I? Did I, Noah?" Jonah looked at Noah then.

He sucked in a breath. He wouldn't look at Jonah.

"I HATE YOUR FUCK'N GUTS!" Noah practically spit on him as he left the restroom.

"HEY, I'M THE ONE GETTING US OUT OF THIS, AREN'T I?" Jonah yelled after him. Suddenly, he felt this was a good time for a shit because he didn't know the next time he'd get to a restroom. Alone.

in the restroom

2009-07-06T02:34:00.000-05:00

Lex could see who the real winner was here, and it wasn't her. It was Josie. And she hated to be selfish that way, but if Josie fucked this up with Noah, she'd have hell to pay.

"Do you know how much he adores you?" She cornered Josie once they stopped at the restrooms on the reststop.

"What are you talking about?" Josie brought her arms to her chest to protect herself from Lex's sharp stabs in the chest with her funky black nails.

"If you don't get it, you are an idiot." Lex got in her face with a bad scowl.

"I wish you wouldn't talk like that." Josie was cornered so she couldn't exactly get away. "I like him. I do. I know he's a great guy. I just don't know if he really wants to be stuck with somebody like me."

"Shut it, enjoy it, god damnit." Lex winced. "You don't know what its like to have no one. NO ONE to give you the time of day." Soft warm tears came to her eyes, but she didn't dare let them slip. "He'd walk the ends of the earth for you and you, you just act like SO.'" Lex then sighed and turned away and Josie dropped her hands. "Give a shit, will you!" And she stabbed her then with her long dark nails right in chest.

Josie gritted a scowl while Lex went to wash her face.

in a bad way

2009-07-05T01:54:00.001-05:00

Josie chewed on her Twizzler slowly. Really, it was nice to be on the road and going somewhere she guessed.

Suddenly, it hit her that these were 'red hot' Twizzlers. Her mouth was burning. She made a face.

"What is this?" She looked at Noah as if he'd tricked her.

"Twizzler." He just said.

"Um, they are so good," Lex added as if she didn't have a problem. Not a problem in the world sitting in the front seat with Jonah who was driving as if he did this all the time.

"Its not a real Twizzler." Josie was overwhelmed, and she didn't know why she wanted to cry about it but she did.

Noah just sighed and put his arm around her so she could cry into his shoulder.

"Sorry." He said rather painless, and she had a good cry leaving a wet spot on his black shirt. He'd dumped his coat and messenger bag behind the seat.

"Do you hate me?" Josie looked at him and frowned.

"God, no." Simple as that.

"I hate myself," she poured out to him as if she needed to get it out of her system like green vomit only it was words.

"Would you stop it," Noah told her. "I don't want to listen to you talk like that. We'll be just fine. You will be just fine."

She nodded then wondering what he said exactly. She was just sad, and she didn't know why. She went back to the Twizzler as if she'd savor every bite of it and hoped it took care of this nasty taste in her mouth.

anywhere else

2009-07-04T01:24:00.003-05:00

"Do you see what I see!" Noah looked back at the front window and saw the majestic scene. Something was happening. Something was actually blowing in the wind. Possibly parts of houses.

"Come on!" He took Josie's hand and they ran toward the stair well. There went the car blasting its car horn.

But Josie almost tripped. She was a bit woozy and Noah had to grab both sides of her as they made there way down to the ground level. He kicked open the door and they ran in to the whipping wind toward Lex's car.

"Well, its about time," Lex looked back at them while Jonah was sliding under her to get into the driver's side. Lex got her foot stuck as she made her way to the passenger's side.

"What's he doing here?" Noah grimaced as soon as he saw his brother. No one answered. Jonah just drove. He sped right through the toll booth. No one was there anyway to take any money and he hurried over the bridge.

"Are you sure this is the safest route to take?" Noah winced.

"We have no choice," Lex looked at him. "There's a tornado behind us."

Dust was kicking in now and for a moment Jonah was sure the tornado was chasing them. Jonah kept driving faster. Finally they were across the river and Jonah took to the interstate then. Due north.

"What in the hell are you doing, Jonah?" Noah sighed.

"Getting the hell out of here, what do you think!" Jonah kept his eyes on the road and was booking up the interstate.

"Shouldn't we discuss this." He had his arm around Josie, and he jerked out some red liquorish out of his messenger bag. "Twizzler?" He handed it to Josie. She took it as if it might be a pretty thing to eat.

Lex wanted one too.

"Lex, get on your seat belt, please." Noah closed his eyes wishing he were anywhere, but here.

let the wind blow

2009-07-03T02:38:00.004-05:00

When Jonah saw that little silver car at the red light, it was like his only chance to get out of this before it was too late.

He'd seen how Lex had eyed him in the hallway at school. And it wasn't that look..'oh, is that Noah.' No, he pretty much knew that she knew who he was and what she really wanted. She was hawt for him. Amazing what one look from a girl could give you to make your day. Really, it was something special. He could get off on it if he let himself. But he'd walk away all cool and confident.

Of course, maybe it would take some convincing her now. She was a bit of a hard shell to crack, but it just made him smile, the more he thought about it. Lex was his ticket out of town. Sure, it might be the start of something, and hey, usually the best parts were at the beginning not near the end. At least he could get away from here. Forget this thing with Josie and her Dad.

"We have to get Noah and Josie!" She'd awoke him from that dream, however. Even if she was trying to get them killed in the process. He thought, anyhow, when she kept looking at him instead of the road.

"I think I should drive." He then suggested. Honestly, he didn't want to have anything to do with this Josie thing. And so what if there was a tornado coming. Didn't mean it was after them.

But she was driving faster, and he was putting the airconditioning on full blast.

"I hope they meet us on the corner," Lex said.

"Me too." He could be agreeable. But where were they? Were they still up in that old building?

Lex lunged to a stop. Honked the horn.

"Lex, must you?" There were cops across the street. This was not the time to draw attention to themselves.

"Go and find them!" Lex demanded.

"I don't think so." He wasn't getting out of this car. He wanted to ride shotgun. Better yet, drive the car. "You do it. I'll drive, all right."

She grimaced then as if she knew precisely the kind of asshole he was.

"Why? So you can steal my car!" She let him have it, giving him a shove toward the door to get out.

"Ouch, that's not fair. I would not do that. Honest. Who do you think I am?" He gave her a soured look.

"Everyone gets their pot from you! Everyone knows you're the biggest pothead in school!" She snapped.

Jonah hugged himself then. They'd both wait. But but Josie and Noah better get their butts out here soon. There went the sirens then. The wind was getting hostile and the car was shaking.

in a million years

2009-07-01T13:40:00.003-05:00

Lex was unsure what she was doing. Really, she felt naked to be outside even if she was in her black skinny jeans and black tunic with the big scull and cross bone. Honestly, what was she thinking? She was out of her comfort zone, but she'd heard Josie's cry for help and how they needed her.

Sirens were wailing about the bad weather coming. It did look ugly out. She grabbed her laptop and jacket and was on her way in her little Silver FIT. It was actually her mother's but she always drove it. It was practically hers. It was just too small for her mother to enjoy driving.

She pushed in her Mount Sims CD and immediately, the electronic music put her in a good mood. She could do this. She would do this. She would just zoom over and get them and they'd be right back here in no time.

So she took the back streets toward old towne, and everything was fine until she got to a red light.

"Shit." She said under her breath. There was no traffic, but Jonah was standing there, and he was looking at her. Her doors were locked. She waited. Damn, she thought, had to be the longest light in town. Next thing she looked over, and he was at the window of the passenger side, tapping on the window.

She went into panic mode and some how hoping to assure the doors were locked, she accidentally unlocked them, and he was in.

This was not suppose to happen. She wanted to speed away, but there he was just passing through, she guessed.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT!" She squinted hard.

"A ride, what do you think?" He shrugged.

She wanted to scream, but she couldn't she drove when the light turned green. She was so out of her element. Why hadn't she stayed home?

"Its looking pretty ugly out there." He pondered at the black and green clouds. Lightening flashing.

She kept her eye on the road. Thinking the entire time she was a stupid idiot. This was why she never went outside. This was why she stayed home. She would have to...there she went looking at him. It was long look.

"HEY! WATCH IT!" Jonah grabbed the wheel. "YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED!" He swerved so they missed a truck.

Lex was in a sweat. She never sweat. She was shaking now as she held on to the wheel.Jonah drew in a breath and turned the air conditioning on cool.

"Look, I have to get Josie and Noah." She breathed. "All right!"

"Really? No shit? I was looking for my brother." He said very casually. "You know, we'd hate for him to get too far from home."

"Yeah, like I believe that." She wouldn't look at him. She might lose it. Like he said, she might get them both killed. She thought she could have the affect on guys. She looked up in the review mirror. Did she see a funnel cloud in the bleak sky? It looked like the devil's tail. Whrilling and ire and..and coming this way.

dunno if I like you that way

2009-06-30T02:51:00.004-05:00

Noah couldn't stop sneezing as he stood there in the stairwell of the old building. He thought he heard someone calling out. He sneezed. It must have been nothing. He listened as he watched the dust settle around his feet. Just before he heard another yell, there he went again with his sneezing fit. He knew then he wasn't meant for these conditions. He was going to Lex's. But when he looked up he saw Josie.

He blinked.

"Sweet Jesus!" He smiled running up the steps as quick as he could. "I've been looking all over for you!"

She didn't say anything though, and he thought for a second she might be an aparation of some sort but then the grabbed her shoulders and hugged her.

"Good news!" He looked straight into her dilated eyes. "You're Dad's not dead."

"What?" She looked at him as if she didn't know him.

"You're Dad? Good old daddy who broke your bedroom door down. That one. He's in jail."

"In jail?" She didn't seem to believe him.

"Honest to God. Alive and well." Noah nodded as he looked around the room. "What have you been doing, Josie?"

"Jonah was here." She shrugged.

"Jonah?" So thats why the sweet smell of ganja filled the room. He didn't want to come to any conclusions thinking his brother had had his way with her. "What did you do with him?"

"Nothing really." She told him.

"Nothing at all?" Noah squinted.

"He's not that bad."

"Yeah, he talks some good shit when he wants to and then he can be a fuck'n ass wipe." Noah stepped away from her then. "I got your notebook," he then said. "And your cell. I can't believe you left with neither of them."

"God, I can't believe you remembered to do that for me." She smiled then.

"Well, I'm looking out for you." He pulled out Hostess cupcakes for her then. Figuring she might need a sugar fix now.

"OH MY GAWD! I LOVE YOU!" She couldn't open the package fast enough to stuff her face with the pretty chocolate. "Do you have anymore?" She talked with her mouth full.

"Yeah, you're really a terrific girl. I think we should get married." He snidely remarked reaching for another one in his coat pocket. "Listen, we need to get out of here before this storm comes." He got out his cell then and direct dialed Lex.

"What about Jonah?" Josie looked at him blankly with chocolate dripping down her chin.

"We don't need him." Noah squinted. Finally Lex answered.

"Why aren't you here aleady?" He yelled into the phone. "If we mean anything to you? Get your butt down here, now!"

"Is she coming?" Josie looked as if they couldn't get out of this without Lex.

"Doubt it." He handed her his cell. Maybe Josie could talk her into it.

as your told

2009-06-29T02:08:00.004-05:00

Jonah met the man on time. He was just the man as far as any of them were concerned. Jonah hated to look into his eyes because they didn't seem to be of this world. There was just something creepy about Josie's Dad. But he respected him, and knew he'd been there the longest in the gang and yet no one really knew of it except for the few who took orders from him.

Perhaps he was an alien from another planet. Jonah liked to believe that as strange and skelton like his face could be sometimes. He was lean and he was mean. Jonah had seen him plenty ugly before so he knew to mind his P's and Q's when he was around the man.

"So you have her?" He looked at Jonah as if he better have good news for him.

"Yeah." Jonah squinted. "It was easy." He smiled then as if everything was easy he did.

"But you didn't bring her?" He looked put off by it.

"I thought you wanted her doped up." Jonah shrugged. "You said you'd take care of the rest."

Josie's father just gave him the stare down and remained even lipped.

"What did she say?"

"She's just scared. She's OK." Jonah nodded not sure if he even wanted to know what was next. He just wanted out of it. He needed to go his own way. There was no need for him to stick around to have to do anything more with Josie.

"I want you to go back to her. I want you to make sure she's good and ready to be shipped out of here. Got it?"

"Got it." Jonah didn't dare blink then. He would have to do as he was told.

in a creepy little world

2009-06-28T03:57:00.004-05:00

Josie blinked. Had she been asleep with her eyes opened? She looked back at the other side of the mattress expecting to find Jonah, but he wasn't there. Josie didn't move. She looked above and around her wondering how long she'd been here. She was too light headed to move. What had happened? She was so sedated as she struggled to lift herself up on her elbows.

Really the place was so musky and dusty. Josie made a face. It was much more gloomy now too.
Josie blinked more. What had happened? Why had she came here with Jonah? She wished she had her cell. She would call Noah, but she didn't have it. What an idiot, she thought now of herself.

She hated this. What was she thinking? Could it get anymore strange or dreadful? She felt so much was happening that it was overwhelming. And if she didn't watch it, she might get herself arrested. Josie caught a glimpse of the police station across the street then.

She squinted back tears then. How messed up was she? And how messed up was Jonah? Noah was on her mind. Really, he was the one she needed. Not Jonah. Why hadn't she listened to him?

So much was going through her head, Josie had never felt so alone before. It was so hot here too. Her clothes were soaking with sweat. Could it get anymore miserable?

Just then she thought she heard something. Something down below. Maybe she wasn't alone. Maybe somebody had came back for her. She hurried to get up and staggered across the room toward the stairs. She thought she might fall, but she managed.

"Jonah! Jonah! Is that you!?" Josie yelled down the stairwell.

told you so

2009-06-27T03:09:00.005-05:00

A dark cloud was coming up. It was hot and steamy out. Noah was already in a sweat. he couldn't remember the last time he was like this. This just wasn't natural. He squinted hard as he watched the clouds come over the sun. It didn't help much. He felt he'd dressed for winter now as he headed past the high school toward the old towne area.

He didn't even know where he was going.

"Any luck?" He heard from Lex on his cell.

"Hell no." He squinted. "Wish you were here." But he really didn't mean it. She didn't see sunlight even with a storm brewing. She stayed indoors. Lex swore she was a vampire, or was it she was afraid of them.

"I can't believe you," Noah then said. "I'm out here with a possibly hail storm over head, and you, you hide in your basement."

"Oh yeah, there's a tornado warning too."

"Shut up." Noah snapped back.

"No, I mean it."

"Like we'd have one." Noah rolled his eyes at that as he headed past the middle school and down past the police station. He wondered if Josie's Dad was still there. Noah doubted he was even heading in the right direction that Josie would go, but he felt he had to. Hoping he might get lucky. He just might.

"We're due one. A big one, buster. So you were warned." Lex told him.

"Where do you come up with this shit." Noah looked at the sky and wondered how much time he had before the storm hit.

"I have five televisions going at once. Two of them are on Dish TV." She explained. "You better find a place to get out of this, you know."

"All right?" Who was she? He thought, his mother?

Just then a big drop of rain hit the top of his forehead. Five seconds later it was pouring. Noah ran for cover. Luckily, he found a door open in an old vacant building.

He stood there shivering. Possibly steam was coming off of him. He looked in his messanger's bag to see if Josie's book size laptop was OK. Noah breathed a sigh of relief.

not a problem

2009-06-26T02:52:00.004-05:00

Jonah was telling her something? Wasn’t he?

He’d found the perfect hide out.

“Nobody comes to this old building. You’ll be just fine here.” Jonah told her.

Of course, it was a lot to be desired even if the ceilings were high. The floor was crappy, but there was an old mattress next to the long window that looked out into the old part of town.

They’d gotten comfortable on the mattress, and he was handing her back the cigarette to take a drag off of.

“You see he’s my baby brother. He really is. And he don’t know shit.” Jonah spoke of Noah. “Fuck’n loser even if he is six months younger than me.”

Josie was calm now. Maybe lethargic. She hadn’t said much. He looked at her then to see if she was green or anything. But no, she was just laying there as if everything was OK.

Jonah couldn’t wipe that grin off his face. Lets face it, he knew he was damn good at his job. He always knew what somebody needed. Always.

where abouts

2009-06-25T02:51:00.005-05:00

Noah got on her laptop right away. Of course, he didn’t find much other than Lex iming him.

Lex: what do you mean she’s gone?

Noah: well, she’s not here.

Lex: !

Noah: what am I suppose to do?

Lex: find her, fartface. Pronto!

Of course, she wasn’t going to leave her computer. She was the girl who never left the house. She was more pale than he was. She was the Elvira of school. Everyone said she was a freak. And she still managed to annoy him.

He promised he’d be hoofing it. But sending her one last plea for her to come around in her car to give him a lift. Naturally, she said she couldn’t.

Hopefully, Josie hadn’t gotten far. He hoped not as he pulled out a strip of beef jerky and ate it on the way. He wondered if Josie had eaten. He guessed not. He stuffed the pockets of his jacket with more food.

He was beginning to think, someone who didn’t like drama certainly knew how to produce it.

here goes nothing

2009-06-24T02:47:00.002-05:00

Good thing for walk in basements. Or was that walkout basements? Josie thought it best to ditch Noah now before it was too late. She really didn’t want him in anymore jeopardy than she’d put him through. And she knew he liked the song and the show, but this was different. This was real jeopardy.

She headed for the tree line. She’d hide in the shade for the most part. She kept walking around wishing school was going on. She didn’t like being alone with her Dad. Never had. It was the last thing either of them wanted.

But somehow with her Mom gone it had worked out in the system that she had be stuck with her biological Dad. It really sucked. This sucked. He sucked. And now she felt as if her life was over.

Why did this have to happen to her?

Why was she like this? Why did she have to get so nervous? Why did he have to be a pest?

So many questions running through her brain. She walked on hoping to make some sense of it. She walked for quite a while in fact and ended up at the park on the swing. Of course, she was the only one there. And she had time to look at the clouds and try to stay calm and hope things weren’t completely awful. But as it was, Josie didn’t have any cash. Just her school ID and her driver’s learner permit. Damn, her Dad wouldn’t even let her get her driver’s license. She felt as is he might as well put her in prison when she had to go live with him. But it didn’t seem to matter to anyone.

She didn’t seem to matter to anyone. Except Noah.

Damn, she looked up and saw him coming. He didn’t have to. Really, he hated everything and this would just make him hate her more in the long run. She wanted to tell him to go away. But then she saw it wasn’t him at all. It was his brother, Jonah.

“What are you doing here?” His smile was sly as he jerked the chain of the swings toward him. “You’re not a baby?” He twisted her up in the swing then and let it roll back, making her dizzy as she hung on.

She never saw him anymore. She thought he left or something, but she didn’t say anything. She guessed he was OK. Maybe.

“I needed some place to think.” She finally told him.

Jonah sat next to her in a swing.

“About what?” He looked at her.

“I need a place to hide.” She kept looking at her feet, wishing he wouldn’t look at her so much.

“Why?”

“I think I killed my Dad.” She could barely say because she didn’t want to believe it, but it was possible.

“No shit?” He almost laughed. “Why are you sitting out here in broad daylight? Huh?”

“I don’t know what to do?” She shrugged.

“Then come on, I know a place.” He was serious.

“Not your house.” She frowned.

“Definitely, not my house.” He smirked. Jonah took her hand then. It felt like a force of its own that she couldn’t stop even if she’d been stronger.

the usual

2009-06-23T02:44:00.000-05:00

Jonah had his worked cut out for him at the local baseball game near the high school.

Sure it was an unlikely place to do business under the bleachers, but thats where everyone wanted to hang out and shoot the breeze for a couple of hours. He didn’t fear it anymore.

Even if there were cops around they never really cared what they were doing down below. It was obviously a tradition by now. And Jonah just kept that smile on his face.

Taking money from that one. This one. The usuals. Yeah, this was the life and he never slept at home anymore unless he had too.

that's it

2009-06-22T02:40:00.000-05:00

Noah turned on the TV while he waited for Josie. The local news was on. Really, he hated the news, but it caught him just in the neck of time as he stood there in the middle of the squeeky clean kitchen floor.

There was a picture of Josie’s Dad.

Noah stood speechless expecting the worst. He had been arrested.

“HELL YEAH!” Noah hadn’t smiled in a long time but this was the ticket. “Shit! You’re off the hook , Josie!” YOU’RE OFF THE HOOK” He kept repeating as he ran down the stairs hoping to find her.

But the bathroom was empty. Just a dripping shower now. Josie was no where in sight.

“Josie!” He looked around. Where had she gone? “Where are you!”

Maybe she was hiding under the bed. Maybe she thought he wanted to see her boobies or something which he didn’t. He didn’t want to take advantage of the situation. He really did want to help her.

“Things aren’t that bad, Josie,” Noah said taking a look under his bed. No Josie. Just cat hair. Where in the hell had she gone?

sinking in

2009-06-21T01:39:00.001-05:00

Josie got under the hot water of the shower. It soaked through her, and she still felt numb. The only words that were on her breath. “I killed him. I killed him. He’s dead.” Just little whispers echoed through her head.

She cried softly thinking how much she’d ruined everything. Everything. Now she didn’t want to go to Foster care. All this time, thats all she ever wanted. But..but it had changed. She didn’t know what they might do to her now.

And Noah. God, she hated herself for dragging him in to this. She didn’t know what to do. Would he ever believe her. She scrubbed herself clean, wanting to make it all go away. But it wouldn’t. What ever had happened to her Dad, she’d been a part of. She knew it now. And she had to think quick. She had to do something. She had to figure it out before it was too late. Before…they took her away.

She kept under the hot shower until it turned long cold and made her fridgid. She had goosebumps now. Her body was shaking. She couldn’t help but scowl of the things to come. It was going to be awful. She knew. She had to get used to that as she dressed in the clothes she’d brought. Some stuipid flowly girly thing. She never wore it. But it was the only thing clean. And she’d snapped it off the hanger in her closet before she left along with her little laptop that probably had a virus on it..with the way her luck was going, lately. She slipped into her cheap clogs from Wal-mart that she lived in. It was time to go. Time was ticking. And she couldn’t waste it.

laying low

2009-06-20T02:36:00.001-05:00

Noah was trying to get this straight. Exactly what happened to Josie’s Dad.

1. he was drunk.

2. he was mad that she didn’t clean the kitchen.

3. he thought she had a boy in her room because it was locked.

4. when he jerked the bedroom door down, she hit him with a frying pan.

“You keep a frying pan in your room?” He couldn’t quite picture it. “Yeah.” She was crying.

“Look, no one comes to the basement. We don’t even do our laundry down here anymore. You can stay as long as you like. OK?” Noah said. Josie nodded as if she might fall apart on him any second.

“Just get cleaned up,” he showed her to the shower. “I’ll make you something to eat. I’m sure your Dad is just fine.” Noah wasn’t going to lose his cool. It was just some blood on the kitchen floor. OK, the sink too. It wasn’t like a blood bath, but then something had happen. There was plenty of it.

What if he cut himself? Her Dad was probably at the bar, already.

Noah ran up the basement stairs to get started on some scrambled eggs. He found some hash browns in the freezer. This was better, he thought. Scrambled eggs made her queasy. He remembered.. He jerked out a steel frying pan then and stared at it. He supposed the one she used was cast iron. Those were heavy and could pack a wallop. But she remembered he wasn’t bleeding. Noah sighed.

No way would he be harboring a murderer. Would he? No, not Josie. Josie saved chipmunks, bunnies and birds. She never cut her hair, not a strand would be dyed. She was really one with nature. It was just her Dad was fucking everything up.

Noah got the skillet hot with a little oil. Then tossed in the frozen hash browns. He’d have a plate of hash browns waiting for her when she got out of the shower.

just because

2009-06-19T02:33:00.000-05:00

Naturally, Noah didn’t think much about being there in her room. He’d seen it trashed before, and of course he’d help. He’d heard all the stories, all the complaints. Josie knew he was tired of it.

Before she knew it the door was back on its hinges and tightened properly.

“Good as new,” Noah didn’t smile about it. As always, Mr. Matter of fact.

“Great.” She shrugged and got her bed made. Why? She didn’t know. What was the point of making a bed?

“You got any juice,” Noah asked, but didn’t wait for an answer. He went off to the kitchen.

“Josie!” She’d never heard his voice that loud. The echo sounded like a warning.

Josie jerked herself up and went to see what was up.

“Is there always this much blood in your kitchen?” Noah glared back at Josie.

She saw the blood on the floor and by the sink. She couldn’t believe it. She cringed, shaking her head, no.

“Can you tell me what happened?” He kept staring at the blood.

“I dunno.” Well, she sort of knew. “I-I did hit him.”

“Then what?”

“I was here,” but she couldn’t remember exactly how long, “Then I walked the streets for a while just thinking why I had hit him. I was afraid. I didn’t want to wait and let him hit me. I mean, I know they say that’s the only way they’d help me at the school if I did, but I-I just hit him with a frying pan.”

“Where’s the frying pan?”

“I don’t know.” Josie didn’t see it anywhere.

“Could anyone else have came in and-” Noah squinted hard then. “We gotta get out of here.”

Josie nodded. She wasn’t sure what that meant. Couldn’t she at least get her laptop?

Jonah

2009-06-18T14:10:00.003-05:00

1. hates to be referred to as a Jonas brother.

2. he's tempted to quit school everyday.

3. he has his connections, and does his part to get by and stay out of trouble.

4. he just doesn't get Noah.

5. he can't wait to be on his own.

6. Gorillaz is his all time favorite band.

Noah

2009-06-18T14:02:00.004-05:00

1. he's been known to hate everything.

2. has a soft spot for Josie just because she needs someone.

3. has a fetish for HOUSE.

4. usually, stays in his basement to avoid anything possible. he actually enjoys underground places.

5. he doesn't see eye to eye with his brother Jonah

6. he's straight edge.

Josie

2009-06-18T13:58:00.004-05:00

1. she and her dad don't get along.

2. she had to move in with him after her mom moved away.

3. she feels as if her world has been turned up side down. its nothing like it used to be.

4. her best friend is Noah who lives in her neighborhood.

5. her laptop is her lifeline.

6. her other best friend is Lex.

so

2009-06-18T12:30:00.001-05:00

There was no door on her bedroom anymore. Josie hadn’t slept a wink. Really. It had been a bad night. Finally, she crawled out of her bedroom window and went to Noah’s who was still up watching a marathon of HOUSE.

“Just watch some TV.” He told her with a yawn. “I’ll fix the door tomorrow.” Meanwhile he painted her toe-nails black to match his own finger nails. “Really, you’ve got to stop making him so mad.”

“Its not like he hits me, you know,” Josie was calm now. Not so much when her Dad was around. She was never sure what condition he might be in. They could go for weeks without seeing each other, and then it would happen. She’d hurt him a couple of times, but she never did unless he messed up her stuff. Breaking down her bedroom door was a big deal. She’d knocked him out cold with a frying pan. Of course, she hadn’t told Noah this. He didn’t believe in fighting. He might have looked like he did with all the eye-liner he wore, but really he hated it.
So he kept the TV on low and she fell asleep sitting there next to him on the couch while he was determined to watch every episode of the TV show.